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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a story from her bible. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the bible pictures and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God...

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage,he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm 20, going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin - in every way' The doctor told him, 'I...

Once again, I was disqualified from my neighbourhoods "Best Decorated House" contest due to my bad attitude! -- Edited by Disco Duck on Monday 7th of December 2009 03:45:04 PM

IMPORTANT ! MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLD ; ****; I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU;

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLE...

CRUISING GRANNY © Who is the Cruising Granny of whom they speak? Is she standing in slippers and a floral frock Stirring the stew or knitting sox? Is her face a dull tone and hair faded grey? Just going about the house day after day. Is she at bingo or bowls on Tuesdays? Taking a nap to recharge fo...

12 Days of Christmas December 14, 1992 My dearest darling John: Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way. My love always, Agnes December 15, 1992 Dearest John: Today the post...

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying t...

Did you ever see such a sad face than that on the Moo of the lead in to the Grey Nomads.Looks so forlorn and sad.On the other hand you never see a Moo smiling do you?.Cheers.Ibbo.

ThE JoYs Of ChRiStMaSTwas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen; I was cooking and baking and moanin and bitchin. I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest. This room's a disaster, just look at this mess! Tommorow I've got thirty people to feed. They expect all the trimmings. Who c...

Well, had a garage sale. Sold about $1k worth of household goods. Everyone wanted it all for nothing. Well, what was left went lock stock and barrell to the Good Sammy's. The boat raised $4k. Whats left of 43 years of married life is now in a 2005 Series 100 Landcruiser and 23 foot Royal Flair caravan. Lea...

*Twas the month before Christmas* *When all through our land,* *Not a Christian was praying* *Nor taking a stand.* *See the PC Police had taken away,* *The reason for Christmas - no one could say.* *The children were told by their schools not to sing,* *About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and thing...

We retire next year August, as mentioned previously on forum. My dilema is this, we own a beautiful 3 year old fox terrier. My husband just adores it! It rules our house much to my dilema. Don't get me wrong I love him also, just I feel there is a place for pets at meal times- NOT BEING FED AT THE TABLE when we...

Have you ever wondered what the difference between Grandmothers and Grandfathers is?Well here it is: A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car f...

I was just reading the article on the home page re the increase of voilence and crime up north. Also read it in the news a few days ago 5 people in Broome stabbing each other and they put it down to the weather. My daughter is currently living in Kununurra and the things she tells me about the fighting and voi...

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If it had been presented this way I wonder how many of us would have applied for it!!!! POSITION: Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent commu...

Hi. I live in Bris, still work but travel on weekends and whenever i can..spent time living in Africa more recently but am back to travel our own beautiful country. When i retire i will buy a larger motorhome and live on the road...I play the African drum, called a Djembe and love music, festivals and bea...