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The Blonde & The Heart Attack A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting..... 'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband.. The...

we pick up the motorhome tomorrow morning for an all expenses paid journey to darwin, the vehicle has to be driven back to home so we are doing it costs us a dollar a day (5 days allowed) they pay all fuel, we will take her back and then fly home in ten days, cheap way to have a holiday may pay to have a squizz at y...

http://www.iro.umontreal.ca/~csuros/IFT3290/materiel/origami_inst.pdf

Hi guys, check out this weather link the other half sent to me, will be very interesting in the cyclone season. http://www.bsch.au.com/index.shtml

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the >> sky >> clouded above his head... In a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you >> have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' >> >> The biker pulled over and said, 'Bui...

At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.' 'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?' 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead' 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International compe...

For your interest; took this shot at Coolum beach from Pt Perry about 3 pm yesterday afternoon. Was unbelievable!!!

The Divorced Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers his daughter's Christmas gift. He stops by a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Wor...

I went to the cemetery yesterday and there were four pall bearers walking around with a coffin. Three hours later they were still walking around with it.I thought to myself:These bastards have lost the plot.

So my annual appointment was this morning. This bloke calls everyone "Cobber", I think he has a Chips Rafferty complex..... So we are going through the preamble and he says "Cobber now I want you to read the smallest line on the eye chart you can" Now Basil in his roll as Cobber has...

Two female council workers where hard at it one digging a hole and the second filling it in. They work up one side of the road and down the other one digging one filling in . Local resident was so impressed by their unrelenting efforts without a break he approached the two women to praise their work ethic...

Whateveryour politics, I thinkyou'll get ! a kick out of this! Alittle boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Govern...

Definitely not PC, but what a hoot! http://englishatheist.org/pooh.shtml Pass me another incontinence pad, please.

G'day ... I noticed an earlier post expressing concern about The Crusin' Granny. She is ok, just having internet access problems & hopes to be back on line this week. cheers .. G

I was dropped off the airwaves when my USB wireless device changed it's serial number overnight. When I tried to log in next day I couldn't. It took many hours on the phone to the Telstra Bigpond Technical Support "Philipino Parrots". What a frustrating, demoralising experience, but I'm...

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised?" "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty...

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/DAY-NIGHT-SOLAR-FOUNTAIN-WATER-FEATURE-PUMP-W-LED-LIGHT_W0QQitemZ2504936...

Hi Im trying to work out what sort of 4X4 i need to tow a 20' van.In my opinion Cruisers and Patrols are very expensive when compared to Pajero's.Compare a Toyota to a Pajero its $10,000 dearer.Thats a very expensive brand badge! Cheers

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I have only just bought the van and I have followed the instructions about putting heavy things into the middle over the wheel area but apart from looking at the van how do I tell when it is attached to the car that it is evenly balanced and if it appears by eyesight to be balanced is there anything to be awar...