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A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but...

A lady was sitting near a woman who was wearing a magnificent diamond pendant. At dinner, a lady turns to the woman next to her and says: My, thats a beautiful diamond youre wearing. In fact, I think its the most beautiful diamond I have ever seen! Thank you, replies Judy. This is the Plotnick Diamond. T...

For toddlers (and wives). 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If it is in my hands, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If it looks like mine, it's mine. 6. If I am doing or building something, all the pieces are mine. 7. If I saw it first, it's mine. 8. If it is...

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on.He was quite embarrassed but whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.The teacher told him t...

Hi all, I have a 2011 Esperance and I occasionally hear an alarm from my electrical control panel. I think it might be low water house water level but it some times alarms when I have 30% in the tank. I am not convinced the calibration of the level gauge is accurate. it often jumps from 0% to 30% by adding...

maybe THE MEANING OF MANYANASpanish singer Julio Iglesias was on UK television with British TV host Anne Diamond.He used the word "manyana". Diamond asked him to explain what it meant.He said that the term means: "Maybe the job will be done tomorrow; maybe the next day; maybe the day after that; or p...

Hi all, has anyone got a Stone Stomper fitted to their caravan and if so, can I get some feedback. I am looking to buy one also, so if anyone has one for sale (providing feedback is good)... I have a 200 Series Landcruiser and van is 2.1mts from back of car....

If so,where to-?

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer...

I was wondering if anyone can advise on the best insurers for green slip in NSW FOR a winnebago 1998 4.78 t 6 tonne GVM i know that all the states charge the standard fee of $607 for the transport dept rego fee and then the states charge for the green slip,I JUST BOUGHT IT FROM QLD AND THE REGO INC GREEN...

Anybody recommend and brands and has anybody used the kings supercentre one for $84

A bloke walks into a Pub. Lucky Bugger.

A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. It ties you up in knots...

Go Elvis.........

Retailers have pulled all the Darth Vader toys from their shelves. Apparently they are a choking hazard.

When we're driving somewhere, the wife always moans about the route I take and always points out to me which way I should have gone, especially if we get stuck in traffic. She's my SatNag.

I thought this virus would ruin our dreams but to tell the truth it has helped the wife and i. My job is servicing chillers plants and therefore isolation is my way of life and the chances of getting the virus is low. All weekend every weekend we are working on our truck to which we plan to tow a van and live ou...

Hey all, I was RosieW, but I locked myself out of the associated email account, so had to start again. Way back when, it was me, him, 2 dogs and a bird. For a while it was me, him, 4 dogs and a bird. Then the rude bugger died on me (April last year) so now I am back to me, 2 dogs and a cat. Living in Mandurah for the ti...

Hopefully Stage 2 of the Covid 19 de-restrictions will enable us to get away for a bit of time in our Grand Cherokee Laredo and Jayco Journey 20.62-2 Outback. We can get to Hervey Bay in our 250km radius and that's where we are headed. A group of 5 or 6 vans are getting together for some socially distanced R...