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A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift.Of course, the woman wanted "The Key."...

A young fella with his pants hanging half off his arse....No front teeth and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into his local job centre to do his weekly sign on.He strolled up to the counter and said:"Hi there, you know what... I really HATE claiming benefits, I'd really much rather h...

hello, my BT 50 had a heart attack in central QLD. i am home now waiting for new ute, my 2000 year model van is in longreach . i can get a stone guard for $250 for the front of the van but i cant measure my van from here. if any one has this model i would appreciate talking to you to get measurements of A frame to s...

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accid...

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the T...

I am looking for local Knowledge, at the moment the road from Coober Pedy to Oodnadatta is open as is the track from there to William creek open for 4x4s. But from William creek to Marree its closed. There has not been any rain now for 2 days, does any one experienced in this part of our great land, have any...

Have been asked by a Fem pensioner friend (who is not flushed with $) my advice on a light weight electric wheel chair that she can put in her car and use at shopping centres and outings. Have no experience in this area and appreciate comments in Forum or via PM Thanks Peter Option 1 $899, 30KM Travel, 16...

Am getting this message " Nuclear Exploit Kit Re-direct 4" from my virus checker each time I log into this site. Anyone know what it is? Apparently it is serious, but why is this site giving it to me?

A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and things, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.' So the married couple wal...

Robert, age 80, always wanted a pair of authentic Texas cowboy boots. So, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "notice anything different about me?" Margaret, Age 75, looked him over. "Nope." Frustrated, Ro...

Avan Cruiseliner 2013 for sale Dapto NSW $21000 Graeme Clark

Anyone watch 4 Corners last night? Was primarily about BHP fudging the numbers regarding their net zero targets. E.g. by building gigawatt solar and wind, running battery operated mine trucks and battery operated haulage trains. All to get off diesel. BHP get $387 million from the govt in dies...

Yesterday we lost a great Australian. Neale was given a death sentence some 12yrs ago with MND. Since then he and his charity, have raised over a hundred million dollars to fight this horrible disease. When I heard of his death I shed tears, even though we all knew that this day would arrive. He will be gi...

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman: Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie? The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again a...

We got breakfast done, and packed up the tent and gear, and I packed the packraft back up, and put it back on top of the backpack, we, due to Milo's insistence decided to head home on foot, cross country, via the back of all the farms out there, because I realised these yowies were not mucking about, they...

You may wonder why I have not told this 3rd part before now, because even with me experiencing it, it is unbelievable to me too. I have PTSD from my time in the early part of my army service and it was pretty bad, but this yawee ( which is how the locals spell it, not the way I spelt it which was wrong, but for thi...