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Best Slogan on a MAN's T-Shirt :
(Preview)
"Please Do Not Disturb me,disturbed."=======================================Acouple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant. As the food was served, the husband said,"The food looks delicious, let's eat."Wife: Honey.....you say a prayer before eating at home...
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aussie_paul
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0
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543
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Why prejudice and bigotry are foolish.....
(Preview)
A rich Arab walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl and traditional locks of hair.He doesn't have to be Einstein to know this guy is Jewish.So he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear: 'drinks for everyone in here,...
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aussie_paul
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0
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514
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Apologies to the Irish folks. 🙂
(Preview)
Apologies to the Irish folks. Two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice:You watch them Aussie cab drivers. Theyll rob you blind. Dont you go paying them what they ask. You haggle.At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to t...
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aussie_paul
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0
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415
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What for dinner..
(Preview)
Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner."Hello?" said the maid."Hi, it's me," said Bob. "Is madam near the phone?"..."No, Sir. She's upstairs in the bedroom with your friend Frank."After a brief pause, Bob said, "But I don't have a friend named Frank!""Yes you do. He'...
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aussie_paul
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0
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461
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* Beware **..
(Preview)
I ordered Chinese from a local place (won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving home, heard the bags rustling and moving!!!I thought what on earth is that? Has something gotten into the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out.I was driving so pulled over, I leaned forwar...
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aussie_paul
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0
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903
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A new sign..
(Preview)
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enablingcustomers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined belowwhen accessing their accounts.Af...
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aussie_paul
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0
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422
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Rough Neighbourhood
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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449
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Tattoos..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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690
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Can't decide
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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3
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631
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A horse and his best mate
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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303
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A priest..
(Preview)
A priest was invited to attend a house party. Naturally, he was properly dressed and wearing his Priest's Collar.A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring at.The little boy pointed to the priest's neck. When the priest finally re...
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aussie_paul
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0
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461
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Answering the door
(Preview)
I discovered that answering the door naked helps deter trick-or-treaters, Oh, here we go again, here's two dressed as policemen...
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Aussie1
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1
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473
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Vegans
(Preview)
If vegetables are so good, Explain to me why Vegans are always trying to make them taste like meat. Take your time, Il' wait.
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Aussie1
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1
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391
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Mother in law
(Preview)
Mother-in-Law came for dinner and said "why does the dog keep looking at me?" I said , "because you're using his plate!"
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Aussie1
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0
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347
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Out of shape
(Preview)
I'm so out of shape that if someone yells, run for your life!, I'll be like, you guys go ahead. I'm going to meet Jesus.
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Aussie1
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0
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305
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just for a laugh xx..
(Preview)
Ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him .One official said to him: "You have observed the white man for 90 years.You have seen his wars and his technological advances.You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."The...
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aussie_paul
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0
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424
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An oldie but a good one.. Ahh the Irish..
(Preview)
A Irishman wants a job, but the boss won't hire him until he passes a little math test.Here is your first question, the boss said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9.""Without numbers?" the man says, "Dats easy."And proceeds to draw three trees."What's this?" the boss asks."Tree and tr...
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aussie_paul
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0
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344
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Pilot light
(Preview)
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Southern Cruizer
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0
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376
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Grandfather..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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373
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He tried..
(Preview)
AT LEAST HE TRIED!!!I was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching my wife who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off I asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.On the morning of her birthday, I ar...
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aussie_paul
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0
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363
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