A Scotsman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits and a wrinkled face.

"Who's he?" said the bloke. "That's the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out."

So the fella goes over thinking "He won't know anything about Scottish football." "Who won the 1968/69 Scottish Cup Final?' he asks.

"Celtic" replies the Memory Man.

"Who did they beat?" "Rangers" was the reply. "And the score?" "4-0"

"Who scored the first goal?" "Billy McNeill" was the old man's reply.

The Scotsman was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man.

About 20 years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man.

Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian only this time he was older and more wrinkled. Because he was so impressed the bloke decided to speak to the Indian in his native tongue.

He approached him with the greeting "How" The Memory man replied, "A header."