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Clany and Blue were travelling in the outback when their car broke down. They could see a light burning in the distance and so they approached a farm house. It was owned by a beautiful but lonely widow named Matilda. About nine months later Clancy rang his mate Blue and asked "Do you remember that n...

Just wanted to say hi to everyone, and raise my glass.... see pic. Celebrated my 50th on the weekend... and yes, we went camping. Was fantastic. Can't wait till we are doing it full time

Went to Centrelink yesterday to drop off some paperwork they had requested. Waited in queue for about 10 minutes, got to counter, told woman what I wanted to do and was told I had to wait for an interview. I said, no, thanks, just want to drop off these papers. Ah, in that case, she said, producing a pre-pa...

A long haired Bogan walked into the Centrelink office to pick up his dole cheque. He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a job.' The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' Your timing is excellent, Sir..' 'We hav...

Wow, what a dog, all house trained, got her own bed, puts herself to bed around 6 each evening ,and wakes us every morning from her own cave,(pic) Walks me every mornig and tries to catch any thing that runs, and can she go, standing 1/4 at the moment is about 3 seconds, , to see her stretch out and run like th...

I have read some comment about impatient drivers and their lack of common courtesy on the road and I agree our roads have more than their fair share of impatient and aggressive drivers. However my patience is sorely tested when I'm forced to travel for tens of kilometers in a queue up to half a klm long be...

Hi All, I'm new to the forum, thank you Cindy for my email allowing me to participate here. On looking through this site I naturally was inquisitive with how many used it? To my amazement there are approx. 1180 Members- All GNs? Wow we are many a happy bunch aren't we. I did notice though that there are app...

Global Facts . . . At Any Given Moment: FACT: 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now. FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing. FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex. FACT: 1 old Grey Nomad is reading jokes on this forum You hang in there, Sunshine . .. -- Edited by jimricho on Thursday 30th of Jul...

Ho-hum, how boring, 33 degrees every day and hardly a cloud in the sky, what's it like down your way? Oh yeah, that's right it's WINTER heh, heh, heh. Had a nice little rest here in Darwin for two weeks, but I'm heading off again tomorrow, heading for Kununurra, via Katherine, should be in Kununurra in ab...

Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers. He went to the emergency room in Cork 's hospital. The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'. Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got da fingers.' 'Whadda ya mean you haven'...

Great excitement in the Gnome cave today.Notification that the B&B Unit will be delivered on Thursday. Should begin the adventure in about two weeks,after collecting the van from Hexam (near Newcastle) then back home to sort out the rego.& installation of the monitor in the truck,fo...

Hi,i'm a newbie and just recently retired in May.I have enjoyed reading all the post and have learnt heaps that i did not know about caravaning from the other GN'S on this site.Hope to meet some of you on the road one day,cheers Norm.

Just thought I would say We have Just completed the first stage of our journey and have really enjoyed triping around Northern Queensland and meeting lots of friendly people. We made it safetly up as far as Cape Tribulation and In around the Athertons ,Ravenshoe, Mount Garnet,The Lynd etc. Those big...

Kevin wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else... One day, Kevin got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you. But the girl said NO. Kevin said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend d...

Note Found on the Refrigerator One Morning: My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the f...

A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early? Wh...

GOLF PANTIES The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. 'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded. Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.' The Swed...

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be land...

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a fold...

This is a joke about the jokes that get elected. Just substitute the names if it doesn't suit your political view. On a bitterly cold morning in Canberra, Mr Rudd is being chauffeured to Parliament House. It is so cold that Lake Burley Griffin is frozen over. As he jumps out of the limo Kevin looks over th...