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The Divorced Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers his daughter's Christmas gift. He stops by a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Wor...

I went to the cemetery yesterday and there were four pall bearers walking around with a coffin. Three hours later they were still walking around with it.I thought to myself:These bastards have lost the plot.

So my annual appointment was this morning. This bloke calls everyone "Cobber", I think he has a Chips Rafferty complex..... So we are going through the preamble and he says "Cobber now I want you to read the smallest line on the eye chart you can" Now Basil in his roll as Cobber has...

Two female council workers where hard at it one digging a hole and the second filling it in. They work up one side of the road and down the other one digging one filling in . Local resident was so impressed by their unrelenting efforts without a break he approached the two women to praise their work ethic...

Whateveryour politics, I thinkyou'll get ! a kick out of this! Alittle boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Govern...

Definitely not PC, but what a hoot! http://englishatheist.org/pooh.shtml Pass me another incontinence pad, please.

G'day ... I noticed an earlier post expressing concern about The Crusin' Granny. She is ok, just having internet access problems & hopes to be back on line this week. cheers .. G

I was dropped off the airwaves when my USB wireless device changed it's serial number overnight. When I tried to log in next day I couldn't. It took many hours on the phone to the Telstra Bigpond Technical Support "Philipino Parrots". What a frustrating, demoralising experience, but I'm...

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised?" "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty...

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/DAY-NIGHT-SOLAR-FOUNTAIN-WATER-FEATURE-PUMP-W-LED-LIGHT_W0QQitemZ2504936...

Hi Im trying to work out what sort of 4X4 i need to tow a 20' van.In my opinion Cruisers and Patrols are very expensive when compared to Pajero's.Compare a Toyota to a Pajero its $10,000 dearer.Thats a very expensive brand badge! Cheers

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I have only just bought the van and I have followed the instructions about putting heavy things into the middle over the wheel area but apart from looking at the van how do I tell when it is attached to the car that it is evenly balanced and if it appears by eyesight to be balanced is there anything to be awar...

Hi All. Only have a week, so just a short trip before the Christmas madness begins in earnest. Has anyone stayed at the following 3 parks????? Any info would be greatly appreciated. All in Northern NSW. CLARKES BEACH. MOONEE BEACH. CORINDI. Many thanks Louise.

For all of us who are seniors - for all of you who know seniors - and for all of you who will be seniors.. It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are! And, speaking of senior moments: "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?" The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to kno...

http://torrents.thepiratebay.org/3386523/Luis_Bunuel_-_Illusion_...

You need some pastry, shop bought filo works best.... do the usual thing with 4 sheets, spraying with oil between sheets. Then some frozen spinach, garlick, onion finely chopped, fetta, parmesan, sharp cheddar... mix together to your own taste and lay onto the 4 sheets of Filo and then roll up foldin...

AT LONG DAMNED LAST!!!! The ACCC is now prosecuting some of the more famous of these purveyors of BS fuel economy devices like the mirical pill that 'rebuilds worn engines' the 'Fitch Fuel Catalyst' the"hyclone" and a few others claiming their "independant test results" are...

Ever vigilant for a decent scone recently in the Blue Mountains we came across this place; http://www.megalongtearooms.com/ Mind blowing DST Real home made jam and proper cream not the aerosol stuff and lashings of it.... Dog Friendly too...

Hi all, I've done a search for awning cleaning as I'm sure I read something on here before but search results were a post re cats!! Besides the commercial product available, any ideas re cleaning - awning is very grubby as we have been parked under a tree for months; and I want it cleaned before we pack to g...