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Talking to the farm animals
(Preview)
A cowboy said to the New Zealand rancher is that your dog, yup the rancher replied, Mind if I talk to him Darn fool don't you know dogs don't talk. The cowboy replied so what's the harm? Howdy said the cowboy to the dog Hello said the dog the Ranchers eyes popped wide The cowboy continued, is this your m...
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Woody n Sue
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1
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777
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Three beautiful red roses by her hospital pillow........
(Preview)
<This is not as risque' as it may first appear..> A young Lady goes to her Doctor and confides she wants an 'operation' because she feels her vagina lips are toooo large. She respectively asks her Doctor to keep her 'operation' a secret, as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out....
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Goldfinger
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0
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719
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.....A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch N.Z.......
(Preview)
A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch, New Zealand and orders a shandy... All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting just to see another Aussie visitor... The barman says, "you ain't from around here are ya?" The bloke says "No, I'm a Canuck.....from Canada." Th...
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Goldfinger
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1
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925
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Excerpt from Dublin Times..Vanilla Pudding Robbery....
(Preview)
Excerpt from an article which I believe appeared in the Dublin Times about a Bank Robbery on December 2nd.... Subtitled 'THE VANILLA PUDDING ROBBERY'. ....'Once inside the Bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers who exp...
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Goldfinger
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0
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701
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Faithfull Ol' Bluey.....a man's best mate....
(Preview)
Recounted to me by an old prospecting mate round the camp fire...... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithfull old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side...water has given out that morning and no food.......... ..... He looks into th...
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Goldfinger
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0
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677
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The Cat - an oldie but a goodie
(Preview)
A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the gates and said, You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. The cat thought for a minute and the said, All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on. God said Say n...
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Jenzarl
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0
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613
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The Easy Fix
(Preview)
Medicare Part G -- NursingHome Plan: Picture this. You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what can you do? Why not use our Medicare Part G -- Nursing Home Plan Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older, a gun (Part G),and four bullets. You...
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Russue
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4
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1023
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Just One Job
(Preview)
A HUSBAND WHO LISTENS He said: "What can I help you with? She said: Take this bag of potatoes, Peel half of them and put them in the pot for me Dedicated To all those husbands out there who really try!
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Redlander
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1
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1244
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Our National Anthem
(Preview)
Maybe a bit late for Australia Day 2015 but what do you reckon for 2016 :) http://youtu.be/xiEycVMKoJo
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D and D
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1
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811
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Paddy
(Preview)
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking space. Looking up to heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish whiskey!"Miraculou...
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Jenzarl
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1
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992
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You know it’s hot in Australia when…..
(Preview)
1) The best parking spot is determined by shade not distance2) Hot water comes out of both taps3) You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron4) The temperature drops below 32C and you feel chilly5) You discover that in January and February it only takes two fingers to steer a car6...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1199
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$15 Porsche
(Preview)
A 16year old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents wanted to know where he got the car ? He told them he bought it on his way home. With what money you cant afford a Porsche hell we cant afford a Porsche Well he said this one cost me $15. what his farther yelled nobody would sell a Porsche for $15 where d...
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Woody n Sue
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1
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958
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Te Duck and the Lawyer
(Preview)
THE DUCK AND THE LAWYERA big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator resp...
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Blues Man
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0
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882
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Logic
(Preview)
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Gunsondeck
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0
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723
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Quite Romantic...
(Preview)
So romantic!!! An elderly couple, who had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message a...
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Gunsondeck
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1
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917
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The duck and the lawyer
(Preview)
THE DUCK AND THE LAWYER A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The litigator respo...
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Blues Man
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0
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807
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Blonde at the Superbowl
(Preview)
Blonde at the Superbowl A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just cou...
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Joe50
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0
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735
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Amish
(Preview)
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, my hands are freezing cold. The mother replied. Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.... The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was rid...
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jules47
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3
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950
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Grey Nomad theme song
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/embed/OOgd9hitEAE?rel=0 I think we can all relate to this......
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petengail
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1
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1333
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Framed!
(Preview)
My wife, Julie, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Julie was out. After finishing, I left to take Care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toil...
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jules47
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0
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970
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