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Old John.
(Preview)
Old John had a farm in Queensland. The Queensland Wages Board claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent. 'Well,' replied old John, 'There's my jackaroo who's been with me for...
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aussie_paul
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4
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1388
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Yet Another Genie Joke
(Preview)
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee, the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix." The wife teed up and shanked it right through the windo...
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Yarra
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0
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884
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Shopping ..
(Preview)
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says "Hello!" He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only tim...
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Aus-Kiwi
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0
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824
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Thank you for flying Qantas
(Preview)
All part of the job and thank you for flying Qantas!! A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big...
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Woody2
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1
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966
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1037
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Baptism
(Preview)
Baptizing an IrishmanAn Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,whereupon,...
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Magnarc
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0
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995
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Seniors center
(Preview)
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex...' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I...
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Yarra
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1
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1198
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A skeleton .....
(Preview)
.. walks into a coffee shop and orders a Flat White and a mop.
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Mobi Condo
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1
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1114
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Wedding Day
(Preview)
A couple are getting married, and the minister asks, Is there anyone who knows of any reason this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony? A beautiful young woman, with young baby at arm, stands up and walks slowly to the front of the congregation. The bride turns, glares at the bridegroom, slaps...
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rockylizard
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0
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917
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God will get ya....
(Preview)
A burglar breaks into a house in the middle of the night after ascertaining that the inhabitants are away.Cautiously, he looks around at what could be pinched, probing the darkness with his torch.Suddenly, he hears a voice, God is watching you.Alarmed, he swings the torch around trying to find who...
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aussie_paul
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0
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982
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A Guy Walks Into A Bar With An Octopus Under His Arm
(Preview)
He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it." None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking...
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Yarra
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0
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859
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Wisdom Comes With The Years
(Preview)
A 72 year old man had one hobby - he loved to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.'He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a f...
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Yarra
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0
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879
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Weeell blow me down..Olive..!
(Preview)
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goldfinger
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0
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873
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
(Preview)
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson both retired from crime solving and decided to spend a few years touring the English countryside. Shortly into their trip at the end of one day they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: Watso...
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gumpybsc
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0
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811
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Soooo,...is this what I have to look forward to?.....?
(Preview)
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goldfinger
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1
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941
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Do Your Homework
(Preview)
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?' No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and te...
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Moorey
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0
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943
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little johnny again
(Preview)
Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a grade four class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr.Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So our illustrious Republican candidate ask...
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Woody2
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0
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876
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Positive. Attitude
(Preview)
Late in the night, he finally regained consciousness. He was in the hospital, in terrible pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his nose, needles and IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him. He realized that he was obvious...
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Woody2
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0
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833
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Perhaps An Oldie...Difference between CRAZY and STUPID...
(Preview)
A truck driver was doing his usual delivery to Mental Hospital. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to return home. He jacked up his truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to place the spare tyre on he disturbed his locking nuts which rolled into the adjacent drain. As there was a fixe...
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goldfinger
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0
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760
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Retirement bonus
(Preview)
The Marines found they had too> many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.>>> They promised any officer who volunteered> for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in> a straight line between any two points in his body.>>> The of...
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Woody2
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0
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875
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