The Marines found they had too

> many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.

>

>

> They promised any  officer who volunteered

> for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in

> a straight line between any two points in his body.

>

>

> The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

>

>

>

> The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured

> from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was

> measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

>

> The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and

> asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hand

> to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

>

>

>

> The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old

> Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured

> replied, 'From the tip of my willie to my testicles.'

>

>

>

> It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to

> reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the

> previous two Officers had received. But the old guy insisted and they decided to go along with him

> providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

>

>

>

> The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Captain to

> 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer

> placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie

> and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, 

     ''Where are your testicles?''

>

>The old chief calmly replied,   Vietnam

>