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And they ask---Why I Like Retirement? Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all...

The Penis Poem My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my sex appeal, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the F*&#ing thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For ever...

Folks, some day i will get up and go but for now i am in heavy study mode, learning all i can, listening intently and attempting to understanding the culture of those out there so i can fulfil my dreams and not muck up too badly when the right times come. The forums are a great help to me and friendly too! A lit...

In such a diverse country we have it all , there is a niche some where for us all. With so much to pick from at our back door ,each area offers some thing different in its own right . We could go on all day wrighting down names of places , sure some are better than others ,other wise there would be no comparison ....

With the extreme right wing Tony Abbot taking the helm of the Libs the ETS is on the back burner.... Trouble is Tony is so extreme in his views he stands a snowflakes chance in an election...

THE HOT FLY In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot,dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh ... if I go down three inches...,I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed." There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh if that fly goes Down thr...

Enquired earlier about caravan parks near Tamworth. Have just had a return phone call from the Kootingal Court Caravan Park and we are able to get a powered van site for nine days from 11th January! So if anyone else thinks it is too late to stay in the region during the Country Music Festival it may b...

With all the social unrest today i often think back on an experience about 3yr ago. On a fishing trip with three mates to the NT.Arrived at Blackall , QLD, about dusk. pulled into a truck stop & fueled two 4x4,s. Asked if we could pay to use the showers , all was good [no charge] ,as i walked out of showe...

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-...

Jacky and Freddo race into a bar and quickly shouts out to the publican "quick give us a drink before the trouble starts" the publican quickly hands them two beers and says "that'll be $8" to which Jacky says to freddo "well looks like the trouble's started"

Jacky Jacky was having a beer at a pub that he was not familiar with, he was dying for the loo so asked the publican who directed him upstairs, to the right and the first door on the left a while passes and the publican gets a bit concerened about Jacky Jacky so he goes looking only to be greeted at the top of th...

https://s221.photobucket.com/albums/dd116/Smokeydk1/Burra1109/

John O'Riley was a member of an all male, Irish Toast Masters Club. One evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held to see who could deliver the best toast. Well, John O'Riley won the contest with the following verse: "Here's to the best years o' me life, spent between the l...

We were out there a few years back, just had a look at it on google earth, the detail shown from space is unbeleivable . Must have given the place a shake up when it hit .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just finished putting together a slide show of a couple of weeks on Fraser Island that we had recently. 28 slides.....There is a control to pause etc on the lower edge if you wave your cursor over it.... [URL=https://s246.photobucket.com/albums/gg120/Peter_n_Margaret/09/09%20Fraser/?acti...

Higher interest rates i am excited

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=2005263392736&source=jl999

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church. 'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.'The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.' Soon thereafter, another Irish man...

In the fun world of the administration of justice, not all the laughs are in the court-room. Indeed, giggles and guffaws can erupt at almost any time or place. For example: On a bitterly cold winter's day several years ago in northern British Columbia, a RCMP constable on patrol c...

RE; Wolf Creek Creator, Sorry disco, In a reply to Disco i stated that it was in NT, should read WA. I realised my mistake when i re-read my post, I tryed to edit it & as the nett service was on a very go slow to nothing i lost all service in the process, just managed a quick reply after an hour or so of trying...