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The other day I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented. I said, "A folding bottle." She said, "Ok...

Just before the end of the year I wanted to thank you all for the e-mails you have forwarded throughout the year. I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat **** in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe...

Hi all, My name is Sandy and my partner's name is Trevor. We are originally from Bribie Island in Qld and we have set off on our adventure with our little Aussie Terrier Roxy. We have a Toyota Coaster motorhome and we are pulling a special trailer with all Trevor's sharpening gear in, as he is a saw doctor a...

Terro ,I was in a shopping centre yesterday ,came accross a Austrailian Geographic Store . It had the large Aussie map similar to he one I used. It.s laminated . $19.95. Sorry Smokeydk,no state maps .{ bugger }

Well they are descending on Boxing day... Very particular about their food has to be bland , and capable of being served at a nanoseconds notice... So far I've made sausage rolls, easy peasy... Get thick snags and either fry or microwave them untill JUST cooked remove from the heat... Grab some puff pa...

Hi all, has anyone any experience in electric brake adjusting. I've had brakes retro fitted to my C T and I can just feel them working slightly but may not have been adjusted at time of fitting. I have tested my Tekonsha and it's OK. I know of the adjusting nut thingo inside the brakes but how much and how ti...

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos we...

Best wishes for todays Surgery Granny.Cheers.Ibbo.

Went for our swim yesterday arvo and sitting in th middle of the river are 2 ducks with offspring. Gracie spots them and "points" I tell her to calm down assuming the ducks would fly away..... no such luck, mrs duck goes into broken wing mode father duck flys off low along the river Gracie imme...

What do you think of them?

Dalby is currently on Red alert due to Hurricane Laurence bearing down on it.It is forecast to hit am today Thursday.lets hope that everybody is safe.Cheers.Ibbo.

If you are looking for that late Christmas gift, look no further. This flyer just arrived and there is plenty to go around.......All the best. Terro

I emailed a local MP to remind him that we still have a medical system , schools , aged care , roads , etc etc, that are in need of major funds to fix the problems . I asked why are we still sending so much money over seas to stop illegal boat people when we need to fix our problems ?. It took five weeks to get a re...

Hi all, been thinking of staying in Robinvale on our way to Venus Bay [SA]. [gawd i hope that bloke from Pt Perie not looking u know what he thinks of us vics hehe] Just wondering what are the thoughts of u folks that have visiting the c/ps there, have heard good and bad reports. Going fishing instead of...

That would have been Muddleston's bimbo's first thought on hearing he crashed a helicopter today. Oh silly me, thats right, she married him for love...

http://www.smh.com.au/national/cruise-control-terror-for-freeway-driver-20091215-ktxn.html

I am going to mount my digital TV in my Golf caravan, but instead of using a mount to put it on the wall I am trying to find an under shelf mount. Has anyone come across these as I seem to only be able to locate wall ones, but I feel sure I have seen one in a van at some time. I would be grateful for any help at all ...

A guy is driving around the back streets of Strathpine and he sees a sign in front of a house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and Beatle appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks...

Right, the search for a suitable tow truck starts after Christmas (being spent in Cambodia, don't ask why). After looking around, quite fancy one of the dual cab 4WD utes, suitably converted, including canopy, as a tourer. Any GNs who operate a suchlike vehicle (Navara, BT-50, Triton, HiLux, Rodeo...

Well, three weeks at the Gold Coast with our son & daughter & two grand kids has come to an end so quickly. We arrived back home yesterday , safe & sound . A good time was had by all , our grand daughter had her first b/day party on saturday, one already, makes it feel like the clocks are stuck on...