Just Joking

goldfinger · goldfinger

A bloke walks into the front bar and orders 10 shots of neat Bundy Rum. After they're poured, he drops them all down one after the other. The Bartender comments: "Wow matey, I've never seen anyone down that much Rum, neat, that fast before!" The bloke responds mournfully: "Well yo...

hokianga · hokianga

Never text a confessionTHE CONFESSION Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. Im sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I cant live with myself...

rockylizard · rockylizard

An old married couple have just watched a documentary program about what happens to elderly people enduring a long and difficult decline towards death. Well, that makes you think, doesnt it dear? he says. Well what are you thinking? she asks. He sighs. Promise me that if ever I am dependent upon a m...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... Cheers - John

goldfinger · goldfinger

Faithful Ol' Bluey.......a man's best mate.... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithful old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side.... ....water has given out that morning and no food...... He looks into the eyes of faithful ol' Bluey......

goldfinger · goldfinger

A woman had been a prostitute for some 4 years and was worried about the 'size' of her vagina on her wedding night.... She decided to tell her newly wed husband that she had caught 'it' on barbed wire whilst climbing over a farmer's fence. After their first consummating tryst, the subject was broached....

Baz421 · Baz421

An Australian Salesman in Harrods. THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the jo...

Baz421 · Baz421

Baz421 · Baz421

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction...

Baz421 · Baz421

CUSTOMER SERVICE AT ITS FINEST.... This has got to be one of funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have received a promotion, not have gotten fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care departme...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

I played golf today got a hole in one ! There expecting ting showers in broom

Magnarc · Magnarc

Apologies if this has been posted before. Pat and Mick are walking down the village street when they meet the Father coming towards them. "Hello Father" says Mick, "Hello Father says Pat. "Hello there boys what are ye up to today?" says the Priest. "Nuttin Father&...

dorian · dorian

http://www.engrish.com/wp-content/uploads//2016/01/pee-soon.jpg

goldfinger · goldfinger

Paddy had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the night, 'celebrating' St.Patrick's Day... Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy" Paddy replies, "OK Mick, O'ill be on me way then". Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off....

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

IRISH BLONDE On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow p...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Bob, a 71 year-old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the RV Motorhome Convention with a breathtakingly beautiful and verrry sexy 25 year old blond-haired Lass, who knocks everyone's socks off,......well most anyway, perhaps not a lot of the Matrons,... with her youthful stunning sex appea...

goldfinger · goldfinger

A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her 3 male 'Stammers Action Group'.. She had tried every technique in the text book, but still they stammered and stuttered. Finally, totally exasperated, she said: "If any of you can tell me where you were born, withou...

Douglas Leigh · Douglas Leigh

Subject: VERY DISTURBING REVELATION Sexual activity for senior males: (where were you born?) Statistics just released from The United Nations B.O.H. Team, reveal that: Australian men between 60 and 75 years of age, will, on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number have it a...

Douglas Leigh · Douglas Leigh

One rainy spring night in Dublin, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in th...

Magnarc · Magnarc

In Cricket you get a Duck. In Golf you have a birdie and an Eagle. In football you have a foul(fowl). So I pose the question, what do you get in Bowls??? Scroll down. Goldfish. Daft ain't it?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Quick and the Dead....... (Preview) A bloke walks into the front bar and orders 10 shots of neat Bundy Rum. After they're poured, he drops them all down one after the other. The Bartender comments: "Wow matey, I've never seen anyone down that much Rum, neat, that fast before!" The bloke responds mournfully: "Well yo...	goldfinger	0	941	03:25 PM Feb 9, 2016 by goldfinger
	Technology (Preview) Never text a confessionTHE CONFESSION Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. Im sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I cant live with myself...	hokianga	0	918	02:38 PM Feb 9, 2016 by hokianga
	She was just helping..... (Preview) An old married couple have just watched a documentary program about what happens to elderly people enduring a long and difficult decline towards death. Well, that makes you think, doesnt it dear? he says. Well what are you thinking? she asks. He sighs. Promise me that if ever I am dependent upon a m...	rockylizard	0	1040	10:52 AM Feb 9, 2016 by rockylizard
	Cuppla smiles..... (Preview) Gday... Cheers - John	rockylizard	1	974	10:08 AM Feb 9, 2016 by dorian
	Another from the old prospector..round the camp fire...I suspect it's true... (Preview) Faithful Ol' Bluey.......a man's best mate.... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithful old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side.... ....water has given out that morning and no food...... He looks into the eyes of faithful ol' Bluey......	goldfinger	0	829	08:01 AM Feb 9, 2016 by goldfinger
	An old prospector told me this one ..round the camp fire.. (Preview) A woman had been a prostitute for some 4 years and was worried about the 'size' of her vagina on her wedding night.... She decided to tell her newly wed husband that she had caught 'it' on barbed wire whilst climbing over a farmer's fence. After their first consummating tryst, the subject was broached....	goldfinger	0	1027	10:20 PM Feb 8, 2016 by goldfinger
	FOR GOLDY - HOPE U GET A LAUGH - AN AUSSIE IN HARRODS (Preview) An Australian Salesman in Harrods. THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the jo...	Baz421	1	938	09:55 PM Feb 8, 2016 by goldfinger
	HORMONE GUIDE (Preview)	Baz421	0	986	09:04 PM Feb 8, 2016 by Baz421
	POODLE AND THE LEOPARD CIRCA 2006 (Preview) A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction...	Baz421	0	891	09:00 PM Feb 8, 2016 by Baz421
	COMPUTER HELP FROM 2003 (Preview) CUSTOMER SERVICE AT ITS FINEST.... This has got to be one of funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have received a promotion, not have gotten fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care departme...	Baz421	0	1066	08:55 PM Feb 8, 2016 by Baz421
	A few Dad jokes (Preview) I played golf today got a hole in one ! There expecting ting showers in broom	Woody n Sue	0	679	05:24 PM Feb 8, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	A challenge to Goldfingers best Irish joke (Preview) Apologies if this has been posted before. Pat and Mick are walking down the village street when they meet the Father coming towards them. "Hello Father" says Mick, "Hello Father says Pat. "Hello there boys what are ye up to today?" says the Priest. "Nuttin Father&...	Magnarc	1	736	03:58 PM Feb 8, 2016 by grahos
	Why I don't drink at the club (Preview) http://www.engrish.com/wp-content/uploads//2016/01/pee-soon.jpg	dorian	0	918	06:37 AM Feb 8, 2016 by dorian
	This remains the best genuine Irish Joke I have ever heard...oldy but goody.... (Preview) Paddy had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the night, 'celebrating' St.Patrick's Day... Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy" Paddy replies, "OK Mick, O'ill be on me way then". Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off....	goldfinger	0	818	07:32 PM Feb 7, 2016 by goldfinger
	IRISH BLONDE (Preview) IRISH BLONDE On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow p...	aussie_paul	0	769	05:29 PM Feb 7, 2016 by aussie_paul
	Be a happy Nomad..not a grumpy old Gromad......share a smile... (Preview) Bob, a 71 year-old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the RV Motorhome Convention with a breathtakingly beautiful and verrry sexy 25 year old blond-haired Lass, who knocks everyone's socks off,......well most anyway, perhaps not a lot of the Matrons,... with her youthful stunning sex appea...	goldfinger	0	992	03:11 PM Feb 7, 2016 by goldfinger
	The Speech Therapist.. (Preview) A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her 3 male 'Stammers Action Group'.. She had tried every technique in the text book, but still they stammered and stuttered. Finally, totally exasperated, she said: "If any of you can tell me where you were born, withou...	goldfinger	1	850	11:42 AM Feb 7, 2016 by Magnarc
	VERY DISTURBING (Preview) Subject: VERY DISTURBING REVELATION Sexual activity for senior males: (where were you born?) Statistics just released from The United Nations B.O.H. Team, reveal that: Australian men between 60 and 75 years of age, will, on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number have it a...	Douglas Leigh	2	883	11:16 PM Feb 6, 2016 by goldfinger
	CAB FAIR XXX (Preview) One rainy spring night in Dublin, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in th...	Douglas Leigh	0	801	03:46 PM Feb 6, 2016 by Douglas Leigh
	Sports (Preview) In Cricket you get a Duck. In Golf you have a birdie and an Eagle. In football you have a foul(fowl). So I pose the question, what do you get in Bowls??? Scroll down. Goldfish. Daft ain't it?	Magnarc	1	975	11:28 AM Feb 6, 2016 by Aus-Kiwi
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