Fifty Shades of Grey  

The missus bought a Paperback,

down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag

Twas Fifty Shades of Grey.

Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasnt weathered well;

Shes eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet

A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

I am a dominator!!

Now if you knew our Mabel,

Youd see just why I spluttered,

Id spent two months in traction

For the last complaint Id uttered.

She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like

and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My God what had I done!

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

Step on the other one!!

Well readers, I can tell no more;

Of what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of grey!!

Aussie Paul.