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MY CAREER - 2ND TRY
(Preview)
My first job was at an orange juice company, but I couldnt concentrate. Then I worked at a Jam Factory , but I got canned, After that I tried being a Tailor, but I wasnt suited for it it was only a sew sew job anyway. I tried working at a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting. I tried being a chef, I thoug...
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0
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1159
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LOL
(Preview)
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, Maam, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag. Oh, really? Darn it! s...
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0
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1039
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lol....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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1399
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Ex wife.
(Preview)
After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Ediths multi-million dollar home and since the mans lawyers were a little better he prevailed. He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day pack...
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1
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1350
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lol....
(Preview)
Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years." His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!" Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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1
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944
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Ha ha...
(Preview)
Son: Dad, were learning about prisms at school. Theyre fascinating.Dad: Thats good son, because as a dyslexic black boy, youre bound to end up in one. Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor phones and says Paddy, you realise youve got sugar diab...
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aussie_paul
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1
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1376
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DUI
(Preview)
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minu...
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4
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1085
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Bit rude.
(Preview)
A man was sitting on a plane, trying to complete his crossword puzzle but something wasnt adding up. Four-letter word to describe a female, ending in UNT, he said. The man beside him heard the comment. Try aunt, he said. Oh, said the other man. That makes more sense. Do you have an eraser?
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0
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1152
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Wedding Night.
(Preview)
On the night of their wedding, the groom took off his trousers and told his new bride to try them on. They dont fit, she said, as the trousers slide down to her ankles again. And never forget it, said the husband. In this relationship, I wear the pants. The woman looked at him for a moment, then began to undr...
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1
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1046
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Melbourne Cup
(Preview)
Hoofhearted, ridden by Hugh Jarse and trained by R. Send did not win the Melbourne Cup. Robert
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Robreen
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2
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1048
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Dozer
(Preview)
During a tough court session, a female witness was having trouble describing the particulars of her sexual harassment case. She didnt want to repeat out loud what the accused had said to her. Why dont you write it down? the judge suggested. The woman agreed and passed over the note, which read, Get yo...
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1
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1062
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Your Sunday Scripture Cartoons - They'll put a smile on your face...
(Preview)
Try again.. Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Sunday 5th of November 2017 07:19:54 PM -- Edited by aussie_paul on Sunday 5th of November 2017 07:21:06 PM
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aussie_paul
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8
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2710
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Balding Nomad.
(Preview)
Jim got tired of losing his hair and starting to go bald - So he decided to shave it all off. Now he was totally bald so Jim went down to his local Pub to test the new look on his friends and ran into his best mate Frank. Frank burst out laughing and said; "Your head now looks like my wife's B*m". Jim put a hand t...
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3
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1081
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“ARROGANCE OF OLD AGE”
(Preview)
Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store.I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home. I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous,almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. ### It was very warm and she was we...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1080
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The Love Dress, oldie but still good.
(Preview)
A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. 'What are you doing?' she asked.'I'm waiting fo...
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aussie_paul
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0
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896
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Blonde again
(Preview)
A blond is telling her bff about her first time riding a horse. "So I got on this pretty little horse and it just took off galloping with me. I tried to hang on but, the saddle was so slippery that I started to fall off. I was yelling for help and hanging on for dear life. I had my arms wrapped around it's neck. I...
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0
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938
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B-17
(Preview)
I've told it before, but it's one of my favourites. During WW2 the US introduced the Boeing B17 Bomber, a magnificent aeroplane with a crew of 11: Captain, Navigator, Flight engineer, Bombardier, Radio operator, Nose gunner, 2 X Waist gunners, Top turret gunner, Belly gunner, Tail gunner. The s...
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0
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1012
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The Indian with one testicle....
(Preview)
The Indian With One Testicle There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'.. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will k...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1007
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Grandma and Grandpa
(Preview)
Definitely grey nomads. (hope I've attached it the correct way!) Regards
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hako
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6
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1660
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Gotta just love golf!
(Preview)
While golfing, I took a quick turn to avoid hitting a chuck hole, and accidentally overturned my golf cart. A very beautiful and attractive lady, who lived right there on the edge of the golf course, heard the noise, came running out of her villa and shouted, "Are you okay?" As I looked up I noticed she w...
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2
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1085
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