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Fast thinking barman
(Preview)
A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini.The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar.The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket.Just at that moment he looked up at the boss s...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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779
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Coffee maker oh alright it’s a blond joke
(Preview)
Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the worlds worst at getting instructions mixed up.When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers.It had all the latest gadgets on it.Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set th...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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789
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What is Microsoft good for?
(Preview)
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an ho...
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fwdoz
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0
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794
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oh no, not little Johnny again.....
(Preview)
Little Johnny's at it again... The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate' no...
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sarg
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1
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862
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Common Cents.
(Preview)
A $50 Lesson:Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.She said she wanted to be Prime Minister someday...
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rgren2
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4
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974
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A Positive Attitude The Australian way
(Preview)
The night was moonless, bleak and heavy with misting rain.There had been a terrible accident. The wet crumpled body was lifted with careful hands from the twisted wreckage to the waiting gurney. Flashing red lights alone lit the night and the shining lifeless face. Much later, the last survivor, l...
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Paintar
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0
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1081
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Phone services
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists foundtraces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion thattheir ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the British, in the weeks that followed, an Americanarcha...
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Dickodownunder
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1
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1040
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Oh Deer.
(Preview)
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they wont tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.Well, he said, Its what mommy c...
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rgren2
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1
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1000
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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1137
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Pick on Paddy again.
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1192
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Are you doing anything tonight?”
(Preview)
An old man was surprised when his gorgeous, young female neighbour knocked on his door one evening. As soon as he opened the door, she blurted out, I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, go out for some drinks and spend the night with someone. Are you doing anything tonight? With a...
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Possum3
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0
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910
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Mr. Clark's case..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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1029
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LOST IT ALL..
(Preview)
I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was wor...
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aussie_paul
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1
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908
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Restaurant Accident
(Preview)
There's been a bad accident at my local Indian restaurant. Hope to god the chef pulls through. The last I heard he'd slipped into a korma.
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fwdoz
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1
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1183
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HAPPY HOLIDAYS ON THE REST OF AUSTRALIA
(Preview)
AAT members are to get an ALL inclusive 3 day junket on the Gold Coast, HALF A MILLION DOLLARS cost, paid for by the rest of us. Just joking about the junket bit.
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Craig1
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0
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957
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The dentist..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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829
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Ain't it true...
(Preview)
Barb was lying in bed one night. Larry was falling asleep butBarb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to getback to sleep.A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kis...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1130
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What I have learned
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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1121
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Tender Tony
(Preview)
Ethel checked into a Motel on her 65th Birthday, she was lonely, a little depressed at her advancing age so decided to risk an adventure. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad f...
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Paintar
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1
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1028
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The Honeymoon is over.
(Preview)
Tom and Jess got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, Jess immediately phoned her mother. How was the honeymoon, dear? her mother asked. Oh, mum, Jess replied, the honeymoon was wonderful so romantic. Then Jess burst into tears. But, as soon as we returned home Tom started using t...
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Possum3
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1
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976
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