IN GENERAL:

1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview...

2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.

3. It's tacky to take your Esky to Church.

4. If you have to vacuum your bed, it's time you changed your sheets....

5. Even if your certain you're included in the Will, its considered rude to take your Ute and Trailer to the Funeral...

EATING OUT:

1. If drinking directly from your bottle, hold it with only one hand..

2. When decanting wine from the cask, tilt your paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.

ENTERTAINING AT YOUR HOMESTEAD:

1. A centerpiece for the Dining Table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist..

2. Don't allow your dog to eat at the table with you, no matter how good his manners..

PERSONAL HYGIENE:

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is best done in private, using your OWN Ute Keys..

2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a complete waste of money..

3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay the bathing process by a few days..

4. Dirt and grease under one's fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods & if you're a shiela it can draw attention away from your Jewellery and exposed Tattoos...

THEATRE/PICTURES ETIQUETTE:

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the pictures end..

2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen...tests have proven they can't hear you..

WEDDINGS: 

1. Livestock is considered a poor choice for a wedding gift..

2. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the special occasion.

3. For the Groom, at least rent a Tux...a Tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean jumper can often create a "tacky" appearance..

DRIVING ETIQUETTE:

1. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest Roo Bar doesn't necessarily have the 'Right of Way'...

2. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's considered impolite to ask her to bring back beer as well...

3. Never tow another vehicle using panty hose and duct tape..

4. Dim your headlights and light bar for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the Roo is squarely in your rifle sight.....

Bonza mate.....Hoo Roo

-- Edited by Goldfinger on Friday 11th of January 2019 05:33:00 PM