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Pecans in the cemetery...
(Preview)
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down t...
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Possum3
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0
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826
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And that's when the fight started!
(Preview)
WIFE:
âIâve got blisters on my hands from the broomâ
HUSBAND:
âNext time take the car, silly!â
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STRETCH ARMSTRONG
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0
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783
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The Guillotine
(Preview)
The GuillotineA Scotsman an Englishman and Paddy the Irishman were captured by the French at the time of the French revolution and were condemned to death by guillotine the following morning. The next morning the Scotsman was brought out first and was asked if he wanted to wear a blindfold and he re...
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sandman55
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1
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868
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Ears
(Preview)
Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way.One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom business call...
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fwdoz
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2
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856
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The Gorilla
(Preview)
The local zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem - the gorilla was on heat! To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the sp...
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fwdoz
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1
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942
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Shooting Cans
(Preview)
Once there was a man who had just bought himself a brand new gun. Because of this, he decided to practice at a shooting range. There was one problem though - the range required a membership and the membership cost too much money for the man.So the man asked "I need to practice using this thing. What am I sup...
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fwdoz
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1
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854
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Fine Restaurant
(Preview)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemal...
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fwdoz
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0
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951
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Doggy Style
(Preview)
My neighbour went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time achieving an orgasm. The doctor asked her "Which position do you use?" "Doggy-style" she replied. "Why don't you go home and, tonight, try it missionary position and see if that works any better" said the doctor. "We've tried that"...
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fwdoz
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0
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796
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Divorce Court
(Preview)
Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. Following a barrage of questions by both attorneys, questions came from a new source. The Judge asked "Phil, is it true that over the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?" Phil replies "Yes, Judge, that i...
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fwdoz
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0
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861
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The cemetery
(Preview)
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man a...
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fwdoz
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0
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694
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My dog is dead....
(Preview)
Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?Pastor replied,No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal.The man answeredPastor, but do you think they will accept a donation of $250,...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1055
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New comedian.
(Preview)
A nervous little man walked into a grocery store in a small town. I want to buy all your over-ripe vegetables and stale eggs, he said. Well, said the shopkeeper with a twinkle in his eyes, You must be going to see the new comedian at the theatre tonight. Not so loud, said the little man, looking around hesi...
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Possum3
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0
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1003
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Do you have a ?
(Preview)
A woman hears a knock on the door and when she opens the door a man asks this.Man: Do you have a vagina?Woman slams the door in disgustThe next morning she hears a knock again and answers the door. The man asks the same question Man: do you have a vagina?She slams the door again.Later that night when her hus...
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rgren2
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1
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957
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10-speed bicycle
(Preview)
For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one,but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your Mothers just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door wi...
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Paintar
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4
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855
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Friendship...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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830
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A happy dairy farmer
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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858
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Harmonica...
(Preview)
A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson and music books.Rotated back home, he rushed to th...
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aussie_paul
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1
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839
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Great news we’re all getting laid
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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869
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|
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The mad Irishman....
(Preview)
Three men awaited execution by firing squad in the condemned cell, from which the site of their forthcoming ordeal could be clearly seen. The first, an Englishman, was taken out and stood against the wall. As the 5 man firing squad raised their rifles, he suddenly shouted "Avalanche!" at the top of hi...
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kiwijims
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2
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1047
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The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there....
(Preview)
The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now Im he...
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aussie_paul
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0
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953
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