Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." 

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. 

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you," 

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore. us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!" 

The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that! I don't think you should make him mad." 

"Rubbish," replied the ****y, young mn He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. 

There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, crumpling mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head. 

"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?" 

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, when a guy has a p*nis he can wrap around himself and then stick it in his ear, you REALLY don't want to mess with him!!!"