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The cemetery
(Preview)
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man a...
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fwdoz
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0
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674
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How many ...
(Preview)
Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two very small ones.
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dorian
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2
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910
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New comedian.
(Preview)
A nervous little man walked into a grocery store in a small town. I want to buy all your over-ripe vegetables and stale eggs, he said. Well, said the shopkeeper with a twinkle in his eyes, You must be going to see the new comedian at the theatre tonight. Not so loud, said the little man, looking around hesi...
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Possum3
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0
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977
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My dog is dead....
(Preview)
Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature?Pastor replied,No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal.The man answeredPastor, but do you think they will accept a donation of $250,...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1033
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Do you have a ?
(Preview)
A woman hears a knock on the door and when she opens the door a man asks this.Man: Do you have a vagina?Woman slams the door in disgustThe next morning she hears a knock again and answers the door. The man asks the same question Man: do you have a vagina?She slams the door again.Later that night when her hus...
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rgren2
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1
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939
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Harmonica...
(Preview)
A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson and music books.Rotated back home, he rushed to th...
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aussie_paul
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1
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818
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Great news we’re all getting laid
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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850
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A happy dairy farmer
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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838
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Friendship...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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808
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Apologies to my Yank mates.
(Preview)
A Texan visitor to England asked an Englishman to show him the biggest building in town.There it is, said the Englishman. Its quite impressive, I must admit.You call that big? scoffed the Texan. Back in Texas we have buildings just like that but over a hundred times bigger!Im not surprised, said the E...
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aussie_paul
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2
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981
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The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there....
(Preview)
The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now Im he...
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aussie_paul
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0
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937
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My Mother wanted me to be a.......
(Preview)
My Mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life; and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs? Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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0
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775
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Dumb Kid?
(Preview)
A business man is chatting with a hairdresser while shaving in a barbershop. At that time they see a child passing by the front of the door. The barber says, This kid is the most stupid child in the world. Let me show you; Jack, come here! Then the boy greets the barber with a silly grin. The barber gets a $ 1...
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Possum3
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0
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702
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Blonde.
(Preview)
The blonde is washing her cat. Her neighbor screams: What are you doing? You are gonna kill the cat! But the blonde ignores her neighbor. The next day, the blonde is very sad and her neighbor asks why. The blonde says My cat is dead. Her neighbor, Didnt I tell you not to wash it. The blonde, It didnt die wash...
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Possum3
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0
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733
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Mother in Law
(Preview)
A mother-in-law has three sons-in-law. One day, they go on holiday together. The M.i.L jumps to the sea thinking which of my S.i.L loves me the most and pretends like she is drowning. Im drowning, please rescue me, my eldest S.i.L! and he saved her. Next day, the he gets a Ford Focus with a note on it: My...
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Possum3
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0
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809
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Another parrot.
(Preview)
George is telling his friend the skills of his new parrot. My parrot is so intelligent. He speaks English if you pull his right foot and German if you pull his left foot. His friend asks George mockingly; What if I pull his both feet? George is speechless. At that moment, the parrot speaks; I would fall th...
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Possum3
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0
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693
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10-speed bicycle
(Preview)
For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one,but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your Mothers just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door wi...
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Paintar
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4
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835
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Returning home a day early......
(Preview)
Returning home a day early from an out-of-town business trip, a man caught a taxi from the airport shortly after midnight. On the cab journey, he confided to the driver that he thought his wife was having an affair. As they pulled up outside his house, the businessman asked the driver: Would you come in...
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aussie_paul
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0
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761
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Good medical advice
(Preview)
-- Edited by Woody n Sue on Sunday 8th of April 2018 06:28:08 PM
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Woody n Sue
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8
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1230
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Vegetable
(Preview)
Senior couple watching TV as hubby sipped on his beveridge . He says "I never want to become a vegetable, dependent on a machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive!"
SO She got up, pulled the TV power lead out of the socket and threw out his bottle of beer.
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STRETCH ARMSTRONG
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2
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959
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