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What size?
(Preview)
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her ...cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did yo...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
765
|
|
|
|
|
Special treat.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1254
|
|
|
|
|
Exchange rate.
(Preview)
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Possum3
|
0
|
1406
|
|
|
|
|
Report card.
(Preview)
Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, flash cards, special learning centers. In a last-ditch effort, they took Tommy and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, Little Tommy came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't kiss h...
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Possum3
|
0
|
1420
|
|
|
|
|
Golfing Buddy.
(Preview)
A group of men were sitting around in the changing room of a golf club. After showering and getting changed for the 19th hole, a mobile phone on one of the benches rang. One of the men picked it up and said: Hello? On the other end the woman replied: Honey, its me. I am at the shops. I just saw a beautiful leath...
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Possum3
|
0
|
991
|
|
|
|
|
Contest.
(Preview)
Superman and Pinocchio and Snow White are walking down the street. They come across a sign that says: Beauty Contest. Snow White says she is going to enter. After a while she comes out with the 1st prize. They walk further and come across a sign that reads: Strongest man contest. Superman enters and aft...
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Possum3
|
3
|
1277
|
|
|
|
|
SENIORS & COMPUTERS.
(Preview)
I had a problem yesterday with my computer, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.... Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
998
|
|
|
|
|
Car crash.
(Preview)
WTF!! Today I came out from the local supermarket, standing beside the car watching another car coming straight towards me, crashing into the car, and making a total mess of the rear end of the car. A young man comes running out of the other car, he was out practicing driving with his older brother. I ask...
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Possum3
|
0
|
1563
|
|
|
|
|
Tact.
(Preview)
Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is ki...lled instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Hey mate, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.. Mongrel says, 'OK,...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1169
|
|
|
|
|
Pepper.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1099
|
|
|
|
|
Proof.
(Preview)
A little old lady went to buy cat food. She picked up three cans but was told by the clerk, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell this to you without proof you have a cat. Too many seniors are buying cat food to eat. Management wants proof that you are buying this for your cat." So the lady went home, brought in her cat...
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Possum3
|
0
|
729
|
|
|
|
|
Calling your mate donkey
(Preview)
Two blokes walk into a pub Kalgoorlie. One says "i'll have a midi of swan, and one for me mate here Donkey " Skimpy says, "that's not very nice, calling your mate donkey!" Mate says "Don't worry love, Eeore,eeeore, eeoreways calls me that"
|
Paintar
|
0
|
995
|
|
|
|
|
WD-40
(Preview)
Old Ad, could be mistaken for double meaning these days........
|
Bobdown
|
1
|
1473
|
|
|
|
|
Kiwi Fun.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1665
|
|
|
|
|
Johnny again.
(Preview)
Teacher: "Children, tomorrow I would like you to give me an example of a Development that is currently being built near your home and what are the Advantages of this new development. At the end of the class, the teacher asks that all the little girls remain behind for 5 minutes.... Teacher: "Young ladi...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1499
|
|
|
|
|
Medical condition.
(Preview)
A man walked into a doctors office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied: Shingles.So she wrote down his name, address and phone number and told him to have a seat.Fifteen minutes later a nurse came out and asked the man what he had. The man said: Shingles.So she wrote down his height, we...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1576
|
|
|
|
|
Sneeze.
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1263
|
|
|
|
|
Large bet.
(Preview)
An elderly woman walked into the Commonwealth Bank one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employ...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1449
|
|
|
|
|
Boring job?
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
0
|
1398
|
|
|
|
|
What gift do you want?
(Preview)
|
Possum3
|
1
|
1641
|
|
|
