Just Joking

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog. A neighbor, an old fellow, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, "What the hell's that for?" I explained, "It's a sundial. See, the sun will hit that s...

Quincey · Quincey

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE... "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL... "If you don't strai...

twobob · twobob

A New Zealand walked into an Australian unemployment office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "G'day mate, I'm lookin' for a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur for his...

Quincey · Quincey

Wizards of Oz PresidentsFour U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?" Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courag...

Ole Grizzly · Ole Grizzly

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!' Ne...

Ole Grizzly · Ole Grizzly

New Alphabet Ais for apple, andBis for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now The Alphabet A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is...

Ole Grizzly · Ole Grizzly

An elderly man in Perth calls his son in Sydney and says, 'I hate to ruin your Christmas, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting divorced; 35 years of misery is enough.' 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. 'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says...

twobob · twobob

- With his platoon at attention, the drill instructor yelled, "All right! All you dummies fall out." As the rest of the recruits walked away, one man remained at rigid attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with the man, raising just a single eyebrow. The recrui...

Pam · Pam

WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS This one is priceless... A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. ...

twobob · twobob

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the yo...

twobob · twobob

BE CAREFUL! A new shopping scam has started here and all Solo GN males should be told. At my local shopping center two pretty young ladies with gr8 boobs, tiny tops and hot legs are offering to clean windscreens in the car park.!!!!!! When done they will ask for a lift as payment??? Then while travel...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer hea...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

Apply same warning to drop bears

Ozziebushfolk · Ozziebushfolk

A Queensland jackeroo is overseeing his animals in remote territory when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many co...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

A platoon of soldiers were patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

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Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked asAircraft mechanics in Melbourne. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in thehangar with nothing to do. Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Mad Wife Disease A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. 'What was that for?' he asked. 'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied. 'Two weeks ago when I went...

NannyMon · NannyMon

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife Mary. He tip toed as quietly as he could towards the stairs leading to their bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his bo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New Stock Market Terms (Preview) CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,...	Gary and Kerry	1	1410	08:39 AM Oct 23, 2008 by Roostertales
	That's Progress For Ya (Preview) I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog. A neighbor, an old fellow, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, "What the hell's that for?" I explained, "It's a sundial. See, the sun will hit that s...	Wombat 280	0	1578	09:59 PM Oct 19, 2008 by Wombat 280
	My mother taught me (Preview) My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE... "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION... "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL... "If you don't strai...	Quincey	7	1564	05:07 AM Dec 21, 2014 by Joga
	ethnic jokes - no harm intended (Preview) A New Zealand walked into an Australian unemployment office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "G'day mate, I'm lookin' for a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur for his...	twobob	2	1637	07:08 PM Oct 21, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Wizards of Oz Presidents (Preview) Wizards of Oz PresidentsFour U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?" Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courag...	Quincey	1	1611	10:02 PM Oct 18, 2008 by twobob
	Cantankerous ole bugga (Preview) An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!' Ne...	Ole Grizzly	3	1940	09:51 PM Oct 18, 2008 by twobob
	Our New Alphabet (Preview) New Alphabet Ais for apple, andBis for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now The Alphabet A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is...	Ole Grizzly	2	1706	10:38 PM Oct 17, 2008 by Quincey
	An Oldie..but still enjoy it. (Preview) An elderly man in Perth calls his son in Sydney and says, 'I hate to ruin your Christmas, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting divorced; 35 years of misery is enough.' 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. 'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says...	Ole Grizzly	0	1642	09:27 AM Oct 17, 2008 by Ole Grizzly
	for the new recruit - army, navy or airforce (Preview) - With his platoon at attention, the drill instructor yelled, "All right! All you dummies fall out." As the rest of the recruits walked away, one man remained at rigid attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with the man, raising just a single eyebrow. The recrui...	twobob	1	1864	05:44 PM Oct 16, 2008 by Ole Grizzly
	Wrong Email Address (Preview) WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS This one is priceless... A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. ...	Pam	0	1833	12:31 PM Oct 15, 2008 by Pam
	To be senior - come on help me out in the jokes forum (Preview) Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the yo...	twobob	2	1737	12:23 PM Oct 15, 2008 by Pam
	New shopping scam - watch out!! (Preview) BE CAREFUL! A new shopping scam has started here and all Solo GN males should be told. At my local shopping center two pretty young ladies with gr8 boobs, tiny tops and hot legs are offering to clean windscreens in the car park.!!!!!! When done they will ask for a lift as payment??? Then while travel...	twobob	0	1555	08:22 PM Oct 13, 2008 by twobob
	English...Killing us? (Preview) After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer hea...	Basil Faulty	2	1820	02:57 PM Oct 15, 2008 by suenami
	Friday funny (Preview) Apply same warning to drop bears	Gary and Kerry	1	2104	10:36 PM Oct 10, 2008 by twobob
	The Jackaroo and the Yuppie (Preview) A Queensland jackeroo is overseeing his animals in remote territory when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many co...	Ozziebushfolk	1	2025	10:50 AM Oct 11, 2008 by drongo & wendy
	Extreme Joke, do not read if easily offended by political satire (Preview) A platoon of soldiers were patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...	Basil Faulty	5	1930	09:41 PM Oct 23, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Labardor V Rabbit (Preview) <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"T...	Wombat 280	6	2577	04:41 PM Mar 14, 2023 by Santa
	Sunday Joke (Preview) Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked asAircraft mechanics in Melbourne. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in thehangar with nothing to do. Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet...	Wombat 280	0	1866	10:09 PM Oct 5, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Friday Jokes (Preview) Mad Wife Disease A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. 'What was that for?' he asked. 'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied. 'Two weeks ago when I went...	Wombat 280	2	2192	10:02 AM Oct 4, 2008 by drongo & wendy
	One more joke (Preview) Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife Mary. He tip toed as quietly as he could towards the stairs leading to their bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his bo...	NannyMon	4	2774	05:11 PM Oct 3, 2008 by Basil Faulty
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