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The mad Irishman....
(Preview)
Three men awaited execution by firing squad in the condemned cell, from which the site of their forthcoming ordeal could be clearly seen. The first, an Englishman, was taken out and stood against the wall. As the 5 man firing squad raised their rifles, he suddenly shouted "Avalanche!" at the top of hi...
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kiwijims
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2
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1020
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After spending time with Eve....
(Preview)
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful? God: So you will always want to look at her. Ada...
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aussie_paul
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1
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917
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One morning....
(Preview)
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose.While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent. The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts a...
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aussie_paul
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1
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828
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Who’s opinion
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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928
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Were’s Wally
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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3
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747
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New Parrot.
(Preview)
A trucker's wife saw three parrots for sale, $170, $160, $10. She asked the store owner why the third parrot was so cheap. He told her is was marked down as it had lived in a whorehouse. The woman just laughed. She bought the $10 parrot and took it home. When the woman's two daughters came home to parrot sai...
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Possum3
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0
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774
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Is immediately soon enough?
(Preview)
Going to bed the other night I noticed there were a couple of young guys stealing stuff from my shed. I immediately rang "000" and was told there were no Police available right now, but they would come when some came back from jobs they were currently attending to. I hung up, about a minute later I rang the...
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Possum3
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1
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796
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Stay of Execution
(Preview)
A lawyer arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife star...
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fwdoz
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1
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732
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8 Children
(Preview)
A proud mother telephoned a Sunday newspaper to announce she had given birth to eight children. The line was bad, and the operator didn't hear the message. "Would you repeat that?" the operator asked. "Not if I can help it" said the mother.
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fwdoz
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1
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821
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Irish Flight
(Preview)
Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our cater...
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fwdoz
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1
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741
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Honda
(Preview)
A guy says "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like 'Honda'". The doctor says "You say, 'Honda?'" "No" the guy says. "My farts do". So, the doctor says "Okay, open your mouth" and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a denti...
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fwdoz
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0
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843
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Where?
(Preview)
A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, Where is the rake? She can't hear him and shouts back, What? The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and...
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Possum3
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1
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933
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Right answer
(Preview)
A husband crawls back home drunk on night. Next day he wakes up with a hangover and sees that the whole house is clean and his shirts are laundered and there is a breakfast already prepared. So he asks his son: Hey Billy, what is up, why is your mother so nice to me considering my condition last night? Bi...
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Possum3
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0
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750
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Concert ?
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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1
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805
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115 pounds..
(Preview)
A wife was having coffee with a friend of hers when she confided to her, Our marriage has never been that great, but this year has been the absolute worst between my husband and I. Harry often yells at me, criticizes me, puts me down, plus he never helps out with anything around the house, and I keep getti...
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aussie_paul
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0
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772
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Facts of Life
(Preview)
Facts of Life Sorry attachment won`t work -- Edited by Phillipn on Wednesday 4th of April 2018 07:04:17 AM -- Edited by Phillipn on Wednesday 4th of April 2018 07:05:35 AM -- Edited by Phillipn on Wednesday 4th of April 2018 06:57:39 PM
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Phillipn
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4
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1057
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How do you want to go
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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896
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Which One?
(Preview)
A man comes home from work and sees his wife on the bed with another man. He takes his gun and says to the other man: If you want my wife come take her from me like a man. I challenge you to a duel The other man accepts his challenge, they go to the other room and close the door. The husband tells the other man; Act...
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Possum3
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1
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851
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Crashed the Harley
(Preview)
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?" As I looked up, I notice...
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sandman55
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1
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889
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Martin had just received his brand new driver license....
(Preview)
Martin had just received his brand new driver license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.Ill bet youre back there to get a change of sce...
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aussie_paul
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1
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821
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