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These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your hus...

Well, I'm a newbie to posting anything on the web, and have just joined this site. I have enjoyed reading some of the topics and replies, so I hope you can help. My husband (Mr Negativity) wants to know how accessible are sites for 5th wheelers! We currently have a 22foot van and I would like a 5th wheel...

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Alt...

Anothe Easter Sunday rolls on by, Happy Easter to all Judy had an old mate visiting her from the city Up with the sun but turned out to be hidden behind grey clouds, so we shared the chocalate easter eggs and went back to bed to watch tele, One young fella tween two chicks, nice to dream Freedom of old age ?...

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at m...

Church Organist There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said s...

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher) After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...

Ever wondered what age is, I have a G/G/son of 7 and he told me a few months ago that I am old, when I asked him what he meant, he said you have more crinkles in your face than mummy, and she is 29, my eldest g/son is 31 and unmarried, and asked him the last time I saw him "feeling old mate" as he puffed...

I seem to remember someone having a URL where you can download Raster maps for free, I'd like to try 25000:1 rather than the 250000:1 maps with Track ranger but I'm too lousy to buy the cd's.....

Interesting facts that you really don't need to know. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you passed wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an ato...

Does anybody know what's happening around Oz. Rallies, who's going where and when, things of interest that we might like to attend.

A WORD OF WARNING !!! Tell all your family/ friends/ business acquaintances - in fact tell everybody about this! For all Australian respondents... Telstra Phone book For anyone contemplating using the Sensis directory service number, 1234, DON'T! Sensis, as you may or may not kn...

This is for Australian phone numbers! REMEMBER: Mobile Phone Numbers Go Public next month. REMINDER all mobile phone numbers will be available to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sale calls. STOP THE PESTERING. Some of these calls and text msg will cost you $ if you respond o...

Free camping, we all do it when we can, and its the epitomy of independance, more so if you are on your own, you carry your own power, water, but tucker unfortunatly, have to buy it, with dollars,not allowed to hunt anymore,! this started when I read Rollys last line on the subject of water, I quote &quo...

A young Irish chap goes to confession and says to the priest "Forgive me father for I have sinned" "And what is your sin my son?" replies the priest "Last night I had unprotected sex with a girl." says the chap "That is a very serious sin, my son, tell me who was the g...

Dear dogs and cats, the dishes with the paw marks are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my food dosent stake a claim to it, and nor do i find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not built by NASCAR and is no...

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.. A man...

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding.. Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman...

You Gotta Love The IrishThe Errand McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S'cuse me", said a customer, who w...

nuff said.......