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wALKED INTO A SHOP THE OTHER DAY TO BUY A MOVIE, AND ASKED IF HE HAD A CLEANER, ,I have several discs that are the worse for wear, hIS RESPONCE WAS , cERTAINLY sIR, WHAT SORT, WHEREAPON HE SHOWED ME SEVERAL AND EXPLAINED THE PROCESS TO ME Are you aware that the disc can be sanded down, by doing this the lase...

The outgoing message: Hello ! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1 To make excuses for why your child d...

Things Got Ya Down?Well Then, Consider These . . . In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one...

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY..... and we are sticking with it !! After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets Are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything i...

Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally the guys' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men...

just received a message on my screen one of my buddies has a crush on me, it even knows where i live. naturally it then started talking about how the sms costs $6 . is there anyway to find out what criminal mind is trying to make money out of the vulnerable, if i get my hands on person responsible i will be ab...

Neil ArmstrongON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, 'THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND,' WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS. BUT JUST BEFOR...

As of today, our house is officially SOLD! On 30th April we will be homeless! Well, this was our plan; just took a while to sell the house, because the real estate agent we signed with last year was a complete %#*^#@#! So we gave him the flick, went on our 2 week cruise around New Zealand, got past Christma...

Saw the new edition of Camps Australia wide in a newsagent in griffith today. Update for camps 4, Lake Wyangan page 153 number 962 water not suitable for drinking, cold showers only but the bonus is, there is power available.Three poles at various locations in the camp ground with a couple of power poi...

Subject: First Date If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date th...

Hello.Well here we are back at North Arm cove after a two week journey up to the sunshine coast and back.We spent 4 nights at the Beach Front c/v park at north haven,right next to the beach .nice wide sites,sparkling clean amenities,dog friendly.great bowling club for meals.next stop was at Moonee Be...

About 16 km from Omeo on a tourist drive is the Mt Markey winery. Just a little bit further on is an excellent rec reserve site with toilet facilities and can be accessed by going round a back lane which completely isolates the site from view /rd absolutely beautiful spot to pull up I reckon

I noticed at least 2 free camp sites recently both in the Pretty Valley area which is about 6-8 km out of the township turning right towards Mt Mackay. The Pretty Valley pondage is a nice little area and suitable area off the road along the way. It's probably worth driving all the way and then turning roun...

name the song that would go with this picture

Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book. Along comes a 'Game Warden' in his boat. He pulls up al...

The Medical Profession Speaks out on the Financial Bail-Out Package The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the...

a young blonde woman on a flight to darwin in second class suddenly got up out of her seat and walked to first class and promptly sat down upon seeing this the stewardess chased her up and said "madam would you kindly revert to your allocated seat" to which the girl said "I'm blonde and I'...

a man walks into a pub, sits down and orders a beer, notices another young feller up the other end of the bar rolling something around in his fingers saying to himself "looks like plastic, fells like rubber" man goes back to having his beer trying to ignore this young feller with whatever it...

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food an...

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving...