Just Joking

Vic41 · Vic41

Discerning Police Officer Three footy fans were walking back from the MCG when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of Jolimont Road. They stopped and discovered a nude female unconscious and near death so one of them phoned the police and also requested an ambulance. Out of r...

Vic41 · Vic41

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watchin...

roadtourer · roadtourer

I seen this today and thought of you Dave

SLUG · SLUG

Ed walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee? ? for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, Ed opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. Ed presents it to his wife and asks her...

KFT · KFT

A woman suggests to her husband that she have surgery to make her breasts bigger. Her husband suggests she rub toilet paper between them as an alternative. How would that make my breasts bigger? she asks. I dont know, he replies. But it sure worked for your backside.

SLUG · SLUG

I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighbourhood Watch.I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the centre.The localpolice, ASIO, ASIS and the other intelligence services are all watching my house 24/7. I've nev...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Have a good chuckle. A Traffic Cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the legal speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence. "Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he mi...

Dunmowin · Dunmowin

SERENITY Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing...

Dunmowin · Dunmowin

Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What...

reglynn · reglynn

A painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Doolin in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses. One day, a beautiful young English woman a...

Don Pedro · Don Pedro

I'm looking for my grandma, when she turned 65, she started walking 5 kms. a day. she's 90 now and we have no idea where she is.

SLUG · SLUG

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled bac...

SLUG · SLUG

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name."Yeah teach?" he replies."If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.Matt answers &...

SLUG · SLUG

The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating."Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"The doctor leading the tour explains, &...

SLUG · SLUG

A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him...

SLUG · SLUG

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and th...

Dunmowin · Dunmowin

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?Customer: A white one... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? **************************** Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Eve...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wan...

SLUG · SLUG

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

This is a great poem.... Aussie Paul.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Discerning Policeman (compliments of SD) (Preview) Discerning Police Officer Three footy fans were walking back from the MCG when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of Jolimont Road. They stopped and discovered a nude female unconscious and near death so one of them phoned the police and also requested an ambulance. Out of r...	Vic41	4	984	11:29 PM Nov 5, 2014 by Vic41
	Family....(received from PhillT) (Preview) A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watchin...	Vic41	4	1088	10:27 PM Nov 3, 2014 by Vic41
	Glenelg - this one is for you.. and others who enjoy :-) (Preview) I seen this today and thought of you Dave	roadtourer	1	712	10:30 AM Nov 2, 2014 by Vic41
	ED (Preview) Ed walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee? ? for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, Ed opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. Ed presents it to his wife and asks her...	SLUG	0	792	02:18 PM Oct 31, 2014 by SLUG
	A Woman Suggested..... (Preview) A woman suggests to her husband that she have surgery to make her breasts bigger. Her husband suggests she rub toilet paper between them as an alternative. How would that make my breasts bigger? she asks. I dont know, he replies. But it sure worked for your backside.	KFT	0	870	09:03 PM Oct 30, 2014 by KFT
	never felt safer (Preview) I've torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the Neighbourhood Watch.I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the centre.The localpolice, ASIO, ASIS and the other intelligence services are all watching my house 24/7. I've nev...	SLUG	1	906	01:37 PM Oct 30, 2014 by Kisha
	Ha ha, a good one (Preview) Have a good chuckle. A Traffic Cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the legal speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence. "Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he mi...	aussie_paul	0	992	05:58 PM Oct 29, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Serenity or Selinity (Preview) SERENITY Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.. 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it? Reporters interviewing...	Dunmowin	0	1110	11:15 PM Oct 28, 2014 by Dunmowin
	Retirement (Preview) Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What...	Dunmowin	0	884	10:28 PM Oct 27, 2014 by Dunmowin
	Irish painter (Preview) A painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Doolin in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses. One day, a beautiful young English woman a...	reglynn	1	665	10:25 PM Oct 27, 2014 by Dunmowin
	grandma (Preview) I'm looking for my grandma, when she turned 65, she started walking 5 kms. a day. she's 90 now and we have no idea where she is.	Don Pedro	0	736	08:11 PM Oct 27, 2014 by Don Pedro
	feelings (Preview) This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled bac...	SLUG	0	751	01:46 AM Oct 27, 2014 by SLUG
	little matt (Preview) Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name."Yeah teach?" he replies."If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.Matt answers &...	SLUG	0	733	01:40 AM Oct 27, 2014 by SLUG
	medical benifits (Preview) The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating."Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"The doctor leading the tour explains, &...	SLUG	0	700	01:37 AM Oct 27, 2014 by SLUG
	the blind man (Preview) A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him...	SLUG	0	659	01:30 AM Oct 27, 2014 by SLUG
	cut backs (Preview) One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and th...	SLUG	0	650	01:27 AM Oct 27, 2014 by SLUG
	Tech Support for Seniors (…be sure to read the entire list!!) (Preview) Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?Customer: A white one... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? ************************** Customer:** Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Eve...	Dunmowin	0	924	08:52 PM Oct 26, 2014 by Dunmowin
	THE KEY;; (Preview) A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wan...	justcruisin01	2	878	08:49 PM Oct 26, 2014 by Dunmowin
	dreams (Preview) Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy...	SLUG	1	611	08:43 PM Oct 26, 2014 by aussie_paul
	My lovely hotel... (Preview) This is a great poem.... Aussie Paul.	aussie_paul	0	728	03:00 PM Oct 26, 2014 by aussie_paul
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