Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Aussie humour at its best! A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five min...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

New South Wales A senior citizen drove his brand new Holden Senator out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car .. Amazing, he thought as he flew down the F3, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a highway patrol ca...

Hurls · Hurls

Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. In the morning he drove up and said, Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkeys died. Paddy replied, Well just give me my money back then. The farmer said, Cant do that. Ive already spent it. Paddy sai...

Vic41 · Vic41

The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He then put on his...

dorian · dorian

God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boyhttp://www.theonion.com/articles/god-answers-prayers-of-paralyzed-little-boy,475

dorian · dorian

Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosniahttps://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/clinton-deploys-vowels.htmlCities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to de...

Vic41 · Vic41

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky...

SLUG · SLUG

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot acr...

Hurls · Hurls

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Finally a study that makes sense. Brains of the elderly slow because they know so much..... Elderly people have so much information in their brain that it takes longer for them to access it, scientific studies show. Older people do not decline mentally with age. It j...

Vic41 · Vic41

Vic41 · Vic41

My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my da...

Vic41 · Vic41

Nice little Ditty, sounds like Ted Egan but I'm not sure; http://www.youtube.com/embed/MZ35SOU9HTM

sarg · sarg

On a train from London to Manchester an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment."You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me................I'm ME! ..........

sarg · sarg

Bob and Ralph were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Bob pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches,he asked Ralph for a light. 'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Ralph replied in his Irish accent and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!' e...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: "I don't mean to rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fa*ny, not a photo copier.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Paddy, was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to Adelaide South Australia when he rounds a corner and sees there'sa high rise apartment building on fire.Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help, and notices peop...

SLUG · SLUG

An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....

SLUG · SLUG

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...

SLUG · SLUG

Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter

SLUG · SLUG

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Aussie humour at its best! (Preview) *Aussie humour at its best! A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."* Five min...	aussie_paul	0	658	01:51 PM Sep 1, 2014 by aussie_paul
	The various State funny... (Preview) New South Wales A senior citizen drove his brand new Holden Senator out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 120 kph, enjoying the power of the car .. Amazing, he thought as he flew down the F3, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a highway patrol ca...	aussie_paul	0	597	01:32 PM Sep 1, 2014 by aussie_paul
	Paddy & the Dead Donkey (Preview) Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. In the morning he drove up and said, Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkeys died. Paddy replied, Well just give me my money back then. The farmer said, Cant do that. Ive already spent it. Paddy sai...	Hurls	1	617	06:53 PM Aug 31, 2014 by Bryan
	Six Affairs.... (Preview) The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He then put on his...	Vic41	0	703	01:57 PM Aug 31, 2014 by Vic41
	God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy (Preview) God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boyhttp://www.theonion.com/articles/god-answers-prayers-of-paralyzed-little-boy,475	dorian	0	890	01:47 PM Aug 31, 2014 by dorian
	Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia (Preview) Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosniahttps://www.ling.upenn.edu/~beatrice/humor/clinton-deploys-vowels.htmlCities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to de...	dorian	0	728	01:43 PM Aug 31, 2014 by dorian
	All Girl Biker Bar... (Preview) An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky...	Vic41	0	554	02:40 PM Aug 30, 2014 by Vic41
	DOG YARN (Preview) As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot acr...	SLUG	1	1221	10:08 PM Aug 28, 2014 by Dunmowin
	Makes Sense! (Preview) I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Finally a study that makes sense. Brains of the elderly slow because they know so much..... Elderly people have so much information in their brain that it takes longer for them to access it, scientific studies show. Older people do not decline mentally with age. It j...	Hurls	0	691	04:50 PM Aug 28, 2014 by Hurls
	Are you having one of those days ??????? (Preview)	Vic41	0	622	08:19 PM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Boys Favorite Animal... (Preview) My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my da...	Vic41	4	967	08:10 PM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	Scottish Song (Sound On) (Preview) Nice little Ditty, sounds like Ted Egan but I'm not sure; http://www.youtube.com/embed/MZ35SOU9HTM	Vic41	2	1050	12:01 AM Aug 27, 2014 by Vic41
	WONDERFULLY BRITISH! ...... (Preview) On a train from London to Manchester an Australian was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment."You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me................I'm ME! ..........	sarg	1	675	02:27 PM Aug 26, 2014 by Vic41
	The Irish Bic Lighter (Preview) Bob and Ralph were fishing on the Irish shoreline when Bob pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches,he asked Ralph for a light. 'Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Ralph replied in his Irish accent and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long. 'My God, man!' e...	sarg	0	757	01:18 PM Aug 25, 2014 by sarg
	Mother in law (Preview) A mother in law said to her son's wife when the baby was born: "I don't mean to rude, but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter in law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a fa*ny, not a photo copier.	Yendorane	0	704	08:04 AM Aug 25, 2014 by Yendorane
	'I'm Patrick Sean Michael Fitzpatrick, the Irish Fire Fighter! (Preview) Paddy, was walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to Adelaide South Australia when he rounds a corner and sees there'sa high rise apartment building on fire.Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman, runs up to the building to see if he can help, and notices peop...	aussie_paul	1	696	07:34 AM Aug 25, 2014 by Yendorane
	been there befor (Preview) An old Vet. walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open....	SLUG	0	636	11:32 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	so dose this one (Preview) Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "...	SLUG	0	571	10:07 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	sounds familiar (Preview) Wife : Honey before we gotmarried , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewellery. Husband : Yes...so ?Wife : How come you don't do it anymore?Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fishafter	SLUG	0	534	10:06 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
	another irish one (Preview) Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' To ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer' Hoosband couple 'a years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye' did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there a ny wee...	SLUG	0	563	10:04 PM Aug 24, 2014 by SLUG
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