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Slide
(Preview)
Three men at the top of a slide. Told that whatever they shout as they slide down they'll land in at the bottom. The first man slides down and shouts "Money". He lands in a huge pile of notes. The second man slides down and shouts "women". He lands surrounded by beautiful women. The...
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Cadpete
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0
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795
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Old Butch
(Preview)
Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young' pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters...
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Hendo
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1
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1033
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I Love You Sweetheart !
(Preview)
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"All the women raised their hands.Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"Som...
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Weevil
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0
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760
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Birth control for grandma
(Preview)
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescripti...
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Yarra
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0
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712
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Half Price
(Preview)
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Supermarket. The husband picks up a ...case of Carlton Draught and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 12 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so h...
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Possum3
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1
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735
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Daughter to Dad TEXTING Communication in Todays Generation
(Preview)
Daddy, I am coming home to get married soon, so get out your check book. LOLI'm in love with a boy who is far away from me.As you know, I am in Australia, and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype, and now we've had tw...
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Yarra
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0
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841
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The truth, the whole truth and nothing...........
(Preview)
Gianni Poggio, an elderly Italian man who lives on theoutskirts of Positano, Italy, recently went to the local church forconfession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:"Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from ourneighbo...
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Magnarc
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0
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737
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Funny and accurate
(Preview)
The following is by Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame. "Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enorm...
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Possum3
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1
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820
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He's Now A Believer....
(Preview)
He's Now a believer ! From now on, I'll believe their is a God .... An Atheist decided to go to a Religious Revival Centre for the first time, to see what it was all about. He sat down and the Preacher came up to him, laid his hands on his hands and said: "By the will of God, you will walk tod...
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Weevil
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1
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1664
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IPAD
(Preview)
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.
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Peter1059
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0
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679
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Never be Late
(Preview)
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they wai...
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Peter1059
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0
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626
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Inexperienced Curry Taster
(Preview)
Inexperienced Curry Taster
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Peter1059
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1
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852
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You might not know this.....
(Preview)
but a lot of non-living objects are actually male or female. Here are some examples........ FREEZER BAGS: They are male.....because they hold everything in but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: They are female....because once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. TYRE...
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June
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1
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703
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The Best Toast
(Preview)
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest o' me life, between the legs o' me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night ! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night." She said, &qu...
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Peter1059
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0
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807
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Thank you Father
(Preview)
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' 'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner o...
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Peter1059
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0
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527
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Never Cheat
(Preview)
NEVER CHEAT ON A SASKATCHEWAN WOMAN! A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door and into the barn. She p...
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Peter1059
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0
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659
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Never Lie
(Preview)
In parochial school students are taught that lying is a sin. However, instructors also advised that using a bit of imagination was OK to express the truth differently without lying. Below is a perfect example of those teachings: Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs. An attractive young woman on a...
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Peter1059
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0
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564
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Could happen to anyone!
(Preview)
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door? 'The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled...
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Magnarc
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0
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637
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Aint this the truth!!!!!
(Preview)
I was sitting on a bench in the park next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.He said: Up until Last week, I still had it all!!! A cook, cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library,...
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Magnarc
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0
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507
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Robin Hood
(Preview)
A teacher asks her class , "can anyone tell me who is Robin Hood's girlfriend ??" Little Paddy raises his hand and say's " yes miss, its Trudy Glen !!! " "No Paddy the answer is Maid Marian !!" " But miss, what about the song??, "Robin hood, Robin hood, R...
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Yarra
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1
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698
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