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Must have liked to fish.........
(Preview)
The sombre funeral procession pulled into the cemetery....Several carloads of family members followed a black Dual Cab Ute, towing the tinny with its outboard attached, and with a coffin <centre stage> secured across the tinny's seats.... A passer-by remarked, "That bloke...
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Goldfinger
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1
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824
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I walked into a bar
(Preview)
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nimrod
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1
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921
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Lovely English humour
(Preview)
For those who do not listen to the 'Today' programme on BBC Radio 4, this is English humour at its best.Right at the end of a programme recently, there was a discussion about thecost of entry into Premiership football matches where ticket prices of £60or £100 per game is not uncommon.An elderly chap be...
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gerard gue
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0
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842
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The First Pint
(Preview)
While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that eithe...
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Yarra
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1
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819
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What I want in a Man For the Ladies
(Preview)
Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough m...
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Yarra
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0
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956
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KIDS
(Preview)
For all of you in education, with sons, grandsons, or who just love the things little kids say ~ a reminder that adult words are often taken literally..... 'Circumcised' ? (this is priceless!) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his c...
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Yarra
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0
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715
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Sunburn
(Preview)
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns..With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed c...
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Yarra
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0
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861
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Skin Graft
(Preview)
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suita...
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Yarra
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0
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772
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Sex and Calories...
(Preview)
I was just reading that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.......... Really?..Who the hell runs 8 miles in 45 seconds??....... <My case rests your Honour> Hoo Roo
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Goldfinger
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0
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896
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The young doctor
(Preview)
A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.At the first house, a woman complains, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."The...
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Yarra
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0
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755
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He saved her life.......
(Preview)
Effective Suicide Counselling...... A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off. A filthy tramp wandering by stopped and said, "Look since you'll be dead in a few moments and it won't matter to you, how about a quick shag before you go?" She screame...
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Goldfinger
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0
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760
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Tarzan not know sex
(Preview)
Tarzan not know sex'When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him,and during her questions about his life , she asked him how he had sex?'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.Jane explained to him what sex was.Tarzan said 'Oh,....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree.'Horri...
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Ontos45
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1
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950
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A cold day in the desert
(Preview)
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nimrod
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0
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826
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Automatic confession service
(Preview)
Click the link to see how the Catholic Church's new automatic confession service works. Due to an increase in the number of sinners and a decline in the number of new priests, the Church is finding it difficult to cope with the increase in confessions made by the flock. [url]https://www.youtube.com...
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Joe50
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3
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834
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Bed Ridden
(Preview)
In a town in western Qld a young fellow went to see his great grand Ma who was on her last, and her memory of recent events was no the best. The great grand son said to her that she must be bed ridden from laying in bed for a long time, The old girl replied, sonny I have been bed ridden hundreds of times and tw...
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Phillipn
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1
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807
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....may offend some...
(Preview)
Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a Nurse's outfit, a French-maids outfit, and a Police women's uniform he finally decided if she can't hold down a job,..she's not for him...... I got sacked from my job as a Bingo Caller...ap...
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Goldfinger
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0
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899
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My mistake...
(Preview)
Some bloke just rattled a tin at me in the street so I told him to piss off.I didn't realise he was legally blind and was indicating which end was it to get the lid off of his Pringles!!.. -- Edited by Gunsondeck on Friday 31st of July 2015 02:04:44 AM
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Gunsondeck
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8
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1545
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An Oirish Story...as only the Oirish can tell it...
(Preview)
An Irishman goes to his Doctor with botty problems..... 'Dacter, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta tehyk a look, if you woot." So the Doctor gets him to drop is pants and takes a look. " Incredible" he says, by the look of it you've got a 20 pound note lodged up here". Tentatively he ease...
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Goldfinger
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0
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867
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12 Priests
(Preview)
Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his winkie, and they were told that anyone whose bell ran...
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Yarra
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1
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879
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RETIRED MAN'S JOB....
(Preview)
A mate asked me, "and now that you are retired, do you have a part-time job......? I replied..."Well.....yes, I have become my wife's sexual adviser." "Somewhat shocked, he said " I beg your pardon, but what on earth do you mean by that......?" "Very simple...
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Goldfinger
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2
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785
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