A Hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?"

The bloke says, "Yes mate I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately.

I'm currently having another argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out of this room's window."

The desk clerk says: "I'm really sorry Sir, but that is a personal matter you will have to deal with".......

The bloke replies, "Listen you moron. The window won't budge/open....and that's a blooooody maintenance matter!"......

A blonde drops off her black evening dress at the dry cleaners.

On her way out the door, the lady at the counter says: "Come again"...

The blonde says: "No!..it's toothpaste this time you nosey bitch!".......

'Morning Delight'

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast,

wearing only the skimpy T-Shirt she normally slept in.....

As I walked in almost awake, she turned to me softly, looked me squarely in the eye, and whispered softly,

"I neeeed you to me love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, I am either still dreaming or this is my lucky day!"..

Not wanting to lose the magic of the moment, I embraced her...and then gave it my all: right there straddling the kitchen table.

......afterwards, she said, 'Thanks', and returned to the stove,...her T-Shirt still around her neck.......

Happy, but somewhat puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about honey?"...

She explained, "The egg timer's broken.".......

Even worse..the eggs were undercooked, when she served them......

Hoo Roo