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Taxi
(Preview)
Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading forSalford station leaned over to ask the driver a questionAnd gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearlyHit a bus, drove up over the kerb and stopped just Inches from a large plate window.Fo...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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545
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I'M O.K. LUV.
(Preview)
A bloke is involved in a road accident and sends a text message to his wife from the Emergency Room. "Hi love. Please don't worry but a car has hit me as I came out of the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays since I regained consciousness. The blow t...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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552
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Peeing On The Flowers.....
(Preview)
Peeing on the Flowers A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills fa...
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Vic41
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0
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726
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Gotta love the Irish
(Preview)
Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
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Yendorane
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1
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692
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SEX FROGS;;
(Preview)
SEX FROGS Only $20 each! Comes with complete instructions. The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybodys watching her.She whispers softly to the man behind the counter,Ill TAKE one! As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her,Just follow the instructions! The blonde nods, grabs th...
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justcruisin01
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0
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695
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COLONOSCOPY;
(Preview)
Colon All the organs of the body were having a meeting, Trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said thebrain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said theblood, "Becau...
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justcruisin01
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2
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731
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Short jokes
(Preview)
(Nothing related to the vertically challenged.) Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks? If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we know? Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why do we wash bath towels, aren't we cl...
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Peterpan
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0
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547
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Irish Police
(Preview)
Use the Taser Mick ------------- Use the bloody Taser -- Edited by dING on Tuesday 1st of April 2014 09:48:57 AM
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dING
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0
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527
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Getting A Hairdryer Through Customs
(Preview)
A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?' 'Of course child. What can I do for you?' 'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscat...
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Yendorane
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0
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687
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Ed & Linda....A Love Story....
(Preview)
Ed and Linda met on a singles cruise; Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city, only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Linda to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts,...
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Vic41
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0
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676
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A few more
(Preview)
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster. My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I...
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Rob49
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1
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689
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Mum's Bible
(Preview)
MUM'S BIBLE. Four brothers left home for University, and they became successful doctors And lawyers. One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They Discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to the Gold Coast . The first said, "You kn...
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copper1
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0
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531
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EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS
(Preview)
1. A man comes into the ER and yells. . . 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady?s dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Fra...
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Yendorane
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0
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839
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Some more
(Preview)
I was driving this morning when I saw an RACV van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that man's heading for a breakdown. I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over. My girlfriend th...
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Peterpan
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0
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416
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NEVER FORCE CHILDREN TO PRAY;
(Preview)
At dinner, a little boy was asked to lead the prayer."But I don't know how to pray," he replies..Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc.," says his father."Okay," stuttered the boy. "Dear Lord,... Thank you for our visitors a...
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justcruisin01
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2
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865
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'F' Word
(Preview)
There are times when the F word is not only desirable, But quite frankly it can be the ONLY word in the English language that accurately describes some situations. Check out the following examples. The word is 'FE...
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Gunsondeck
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2
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799
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WHO'S THE BEST.
(Preview)
Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best. The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had not a chance. The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength. None in the forest dared to challenge him. Th...
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Gunsondeck
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1
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548
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The Theory Of Intelligence Explained.....
(Preview)
The Theory of Intelligence Explained (over a beer) 'Well you see it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a wh...
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Vic41
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1
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641
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Watching the footy.
(Preview)
I was sitting watching Match of the Day when the Mrs came into the lounge and says "Fancy a shag Babe?" I said, "After the football love" She said, "You do realise that you can record it?" I said, "Nice, you get the camcorder, I'll come upstairs when the footy fini...
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Gunsondeck
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1
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576
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Stud Rooster
(Preview)
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old fart, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't you just let...
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Yendorane
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0
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602
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