Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally retirees' behaviour that was going on... So He called His angels and sent one to earth for a time. When the angel returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% of retirees are misbehaving and only 5% are not. God thought for a moment a...

Phillipn · Phillipn

Do you like the parrot I purchased yesterday.

erad · erad

XMAS EVE AT THE NORTH POLE Santa's alarm clock didnt go off as planned. He wakes up 3 hours late. He rushes around to get his reindeer yoked up, but because of his panic, they got spooked and disappeared into the forest. It took him another 30minutes to round them up. Santa throws the toy bag onto the...

Yarra · Yarra

In a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating theEnglishman sitting across from him in the compartment."The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me... I'm me...

Yarra · Yarra

I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my wife walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but eventually, there she was, standing beside me. I gave her a loving smile and said, "Get that trolley over here, Love. They...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked ov...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is: There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with h?? is son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughte...

Lesley F · Lesley F

my dead husband A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of hectic schedules, it was dif...

June · June

A group of guys, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous with tight skirts, lean legs, perky breasts and nice butts. Ten years later, aged 50, the friends once again disc...

June · June

A woman loved growing tomatoes but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman 'What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?' The gentleman respo...

Yarra · Yarra

Hello, captain. What's the situation?A woman killed her husband. 12 stabs, 2 gunshot wounds, half burnt, and thrown down the stairs.Oh my god, what was the reason?She told us the husband intentionally started walking on the floor which she recently cleaned.Did you arrest her?No. We're waiting fo...

Possum3 · Possum3

One morning recently a young woman got out of bed, slipped into her robe, raised the shade, uncovered the parrot, put on the coffee pot, answered the phone. She heard an masculine voice say; "Hello, honey. My ship just hit port and I'm coming right over." So the young lady took the coffee pot...

Yarra · Yarra

Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The Kin...

Swoffer · Swoffer

Pommy bloke fronts up to Australia house in london to get a visa to visit family over here . Bloke behind the counter asks "do you have a criminal record ?" Pommy bloke sighs and replies " is that STILL a requirement...... " -- Edited by Swoffer on Tuesday 10th of November 2015 03...

Delta18 · Delta18

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic.Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans abo...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Please complete the forms fully

Delta18 · Delta18

1. Teaching Maths In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teac...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Around and around we go

Phillipn · Phillipn

He turned to his wife in bed and whispered, " Did you know it`s National Orgasm Day?" " Oh what a pity," she smiler, " Right in the middle of National Headache Week!!!!!"

Phillipn · Phillipn

This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral. A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he worked for most of his life. A huge heart...... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One day God.... (Preview) One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally retirees' behaviour that was going on... So He called His angels and sent one to earth for a time. When the angel returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% of retirees are misbehaving and only 5% are not. God thought for a moment a...	aussie_paul	3	867	10:47 PM Nov 20, 2015 by Baz421
	Got a new parrot (Preview) Do you like the parrot I purchased yesterday.	Phillipn	2	761	03:58 PM Nov 20, 2015 by jade46
	Christmas Eve at the North Pole (Preview) XMAS EVE AT THE NORTH POLE Santa's alarm clock didnt go off as planned. He wakes up 3 hours late. He rushes around to get his reindeer yoked up, but because of his panic, they got spooked and disappeared into the forest. It took him another 30minutes to round them up. Santa throws the toy bag onto the...	erad	0	953	02:32 PM Nov 20, 2015 by erad
	Wonderfully British (Preview) In a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating theEnglishman sitting across from him in the compartment."The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me... I'm me...	Yarra	1	869	05:32 PM Nov 19, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Walking Down The Aisle (Preview) I'll never forget how happy I was when I saw my wife walking down the aisle towards me. My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable. It seemed to take an age, but eventually, there she was, standing beside me. I gave her a loving smile and said, "Get that trolley over here, Love. They...	Yarra	0	900	09:20 AM Nov 19, 2015 by Yarra
	Jokes-enjoy (Preview) While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked ov...	aussie_paul	1	856	07:26 PM Nov 18, 2015 by Felicia
	Why Grandfathers are different ? (Preview) Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is: There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with h?? is son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughte...	aussie_paul	0	804	04:36 PM Nov 18, 2015 by aussie_paul
	letter from dead husband (Preview) my dead husband A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of hectic schedules, it was dif...	Lesley F	1	858	07:37 AM Nov 18, 2015 by dishlicker
	Arranging Lunch...... (Preview) A group of guys, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous with tight skirts, lean legs, perky breasts and nice butts. Ten years later, aged 50, the friends once again disc...	June	0	924	12:02 PM Nov 16, 2015 by June
	To the Horticulturists (or not) among you...... (Preview) A woman loved growing tomatoes but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman 'What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?' The gentleman respo...	June	0	916	11:01 AM Nov 16, 2015 by June
	A police officer arrives to a crime scene (Preview) Hello, captain. What's the situation?A woman killed her husband. 12 stabs, 2 gunshot wounds, half burnt, and thrown down the stairs.Oh my god, what was the reason?She told us the husband intentionally started walking on the floor which she recently cleaned.Did you arrest her?No. We're waiting fo...	Yarra	0	749	10:19 AM Nov 16, 2015 by Yarra
	Home from the sea. (Preview) One morning recently a young woman got out of bed, slipped into her robe, raised the shade, uncovered the parrot, put on the coffee pot, answered the phone. She heard an masculine voice say; "Hello, honey. My ship just hit port and I'm coming right over." So the young lady took the coffee pot...	Possum3	0	806	01:21 PM Nov 14, 2015 by Possum3
	Adult Fairy Tale (Preview) Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The Kin...	Yarra	1	1005	02:49 PM Nov 12, 2015 by ballast2
	The Visa (Preview) Pommy bloke fronts up to Australia house in london to get a visa to visit family over here . Bloke behind the counter asks "do you have a criminal record ?" Pommy bloke sighs and replies " is that STILL a requirement...... " -- Edited by Swoffer on Tuesday 10th of November 2015 03...	Swoffer	1	1027	12:03 AM Nov 11, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Don't try to outsmart an 'Oldie'! (Preview) An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr.Geezer's clinic.Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans abo...	Delta18	0	796	12:49 PM Nov 10, 2015 by Delta18
	Accident Reporting (Preview) Please complete the forms fully	Wombat 280	1	853	06:50 PM Nov 9, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Teaching Maths (Preview) 1. Teaching Maths In 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production Is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teac...	Delta18	0	980	06:20 PM Nov 9, 2015 by Delta18
	Wheel of life (Preview) Around and around we go	Wombat 280	0	854	05:13 PM Nov 9, 2015 by Wombat 280
	National Orgasm Day (Preview) He turned to his wife in bed and whispered, " Did you know it`s National Orgasm Day?" " Oh what a pity," she smiler, " Right in the middle of National Headache Week!!!!!"	Phillipn	0	1009	09:42 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Phillipn
	Cardoilogist Funeral (Preview) This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral. A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he worked for most of his life. A huge heart...... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospi...	Phillipn	0	851	09:36 PM Nov 8, 2015 by Phillipn
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