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A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
(Preview)
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery. The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket. He says to the Jew, "See how slick I am? The owner didn't see anything." The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typically dishonest of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result." He goes to t...
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aussie_paul
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3
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1040
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Curry or soup to day?
(Preview)
Wife : Would you like Curry or Soup today?Husband : Make it first. We'll name it later. A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife... Please allow me to complete a sentence before you start guessing and suggesting. A married man's prayer :Dear...
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Woody2
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0
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828
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True Aussie Poem
(Preview)
Subject: A True Aussie Poem...dunny manWe had no dunny man. Dad had to do the job. He buried the 'manure'behind the chook shed by the first row of vines. No wonder they fruited well!!!!They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life.If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really w...
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Woody2
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0
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865
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Don't mess with little old ladies
(Preview)
Motto; dont mess with little old ladies !!!Myra Rhodes, an elderly lady, answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.Good morning, Maam, said the young man. If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the v...
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Woody2
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0
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794
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Ageing
(Preview)
Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald's next to the Sea Side Restaurant because they only had $6.50 between them and Bobby Bruce, the cute boy in science class, lived on that street. 10 years later, the same girlfriends, no...
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Yarra
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2
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965
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And another one
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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786
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One more
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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0
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859
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Who would like a new suit for Christmas
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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3
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930
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A New Merger
(Preview)
Pfizer & Pepsi to Merge This will no doubt put Coca Cola out of business in the near future! The Pfizer Corporation announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and this new product will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be po...
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Moorey
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1
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946
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Body clock
(Preview)
We were in a group discussing late parenting, when one burka clad woman said "yes my body clock is ticking" That's when we all hit the deck......Rick
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rickeng
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1
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908
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Hard to believe..
(Preview)
Hard to believe but . . .. A recent survey indicates that the Smartphone is now the number one hand held device. The penis has slipped to second spot. Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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8
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1188
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Competitive Flying
(Preview)
A military freighter aircraft was droning through the sky one day when a fighter pilot pulled up to cruise alongside in his agile machine. He called the freighter captain over the radio and commented "You must get bored of driving that thing around the sky unable to do much". "No", replied the captain...
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C00P
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2
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1048
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Geoffrey
(Preview)
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Spook
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3
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1188
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Vet Visit
(Preview)
Mrs. McAllister had a pet DUCK, Henry, that she was very very fond of. One morning when she went to take Henry his breakfast she found him laying in his pen not moving. In a near panic she carried him to her car then rushed to the local veterinary hospital. She carefully carried Henry inside and although h...
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Yarra
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0
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785
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See you in Northorn Territory
(Preview)
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Aus-Kiwi
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5
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1012
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Arthritis
(Preview)
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
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Yarra
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0
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890
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Dear Tide
(Preview)
Dear Tide I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband sta...
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Moorey
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1
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1081
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Another cordless drill
(Preview)
Now as stupid as this may seem, it actually happened. On a building site, a worker was using a Makita cordless drill with a 10 mm drill bit in place to drill some holes. He hesitated for a second to itch his nostril, and instead of using his finger, he stuck the drill bit up there. And without thinking, (I d...
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Baggie
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8
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1371
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An old man has been standing in line at the pearly gates...
(Preview)
An old man has been standing in line at the pearly gates...for so long, when he gets to the front, he can't remember his name for St. Peter to look up in the Big Book.Peter doesn't know what to do, so he gets Jesus to help him figure it out.Jesus says "Tell us about your life, maybe that will jog your memory."...
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Yarra
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0
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923
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7 years Stranded Irishman
(Preview)
One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon."It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.Suddenly, emerging...
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Yarra
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1
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1029
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