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The Speech Therapist..
(Preview)
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting absolutely nowhere with her 3 male 'Stammers Action Group'.. She had tried every technique in the text book, but still they stammered and stuttered. Finally, totally exasperated, she said: "If any of you can tell me where you were born, withou...
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goldfinger
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1
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730
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VERY DISTURBING
(Preview)
Subject: VERY DISTURBING REVELATION Sexual activity for senior males: (where were you born?) Statistics just released from The United Nations B.O.H. Team, reveal that: Australian men between 60 and 75 years of age, will, on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number have it a...
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Douglas Leigh
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2
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732
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CAB FAIR XXX
(Preview)
One rainy spring night in Dublin, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in th...
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Douglas Leigh
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0
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692
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You're the father of one of my kids...
(Preview)
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him.She says, 'Hello.'He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'His mind begins to race. He remembers...
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Yarra
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0
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671
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Laid Off
(Preview)
Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation Paddy answered, "Knicker Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies knickers and thongs."The clerk looked up "Knicker Stitcher" on his computer and, finding it classified as un...
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Yarra
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0
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616
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The practice lives on.
(Preview)
Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he...
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Moorey
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1
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684
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Sports
(Preview)
In Cricket you get a Duck. In Golf you have a birdie and an Eagle. In football you have a foul(fowl). So I pose the question, what do you get in Bowls??? Scroll down. Goldfish. Daft ain't it?
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Magnarc
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1
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866
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One of my old Pa's favourites to tell us.....much to my Nan's chagrin.
(Preview)
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse..NOW!" Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin' wrong with the outhouse." Ma yells back, "yes there is, now git out there NOW and fix it." So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, l...
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goldfinger
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5
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992
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The Priest and the Rabbi....
(Preview)
A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting in adjacent seats on a airplane. After a while the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The Rabbi responded "Yes, that is still one of our Laws." The Priest then asked, "Sooooo...
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goldfinger
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0
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675
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A few Zingers......
(Preview)
<Singing>.....When you're down by the sea, and an eel bites your knee....Thattt's a Moray. Pharmacist to customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy anti depressant tablets, you really need a proper prescription.... Simply showing me your Marriage Certificate and a photo of your wi...
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goldfinger
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0
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723
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THE EXAM
(Preview)
After my prostrate exam, the doctor left. < div> Then the nurse came in. As she shut the door, she whispered the three words that no man wants to hear: 'Who Was That?' < div> -- Edited by Douglas Leigh on Thursday 4th of February 2016 01:35:53 PM
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Douglas Leigh
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1
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740
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A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
(Preview)
r A MESSAGE FROM THE THE QUEEN To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocati...
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Douglas Leigh
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3
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1306
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Murder.
(Preview)
Stop press......... A nude male dead body was found today in a Yorkshire park with a Weetbix stuck in his mouth. Police are looking for a cereal killer........... Daft aint it?
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Magnarc
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3
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1017
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I couldn't help but overhear two young blokes.........
(Preview)
I couldn't help but overhear two blokes in their mid twenties, while sitting at the local bar last night. One of the young Bucks says to his mate: Mannn you look real tired." His buddy says, Mannn am I exhausted...my girlfriend and I have sex all the time..she is sooooo demanding. She's after me...
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goldfinger
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0
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830
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A Job Interview for Hey Jimbo in Brisbane....
(Preview)
Hey Jimbo went to a Wickham Terrace Specialist in Brisbane, having seen an advert for a Gynaecologist Assistant. Now Jimbo knows full well that nowadays, job advertisers aren't able to discriminate against the applicant's gender, and of course he was verrry interested, so he went in and asked the S...
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goldfinger
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0
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796
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Divorce
(Preview)
A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?""About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.""No," he said, "I mean what is the f...
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Yarra
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0
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817
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Do you have a goldfish?.....
(Preview)
Two Irish builders <Paddy and Shamus> are seated either side of a table in a rough pub in Belfast when a well dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the 'Suit'. Paddy: I reckon he's an Accountant. Shamus: No way- h...
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goldfinger
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1
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952
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..the three words no man ever wants to hear....
(Preview)
After my thorough Prostate Examination, the Doctor left. Then the nurse came in. As she shut the door, she whispered the three words that no man ever wants to hear: "Who was that?"....
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goldfinger
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2
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822
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WHY GOD MADE MUMS
(Preview)
Answers given by 2nd year school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the Sellotape is.2. Mostly to clean the house.3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers?1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of...
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aussie_paul
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2
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949
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Mechanical Problems
(Preview)
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kiwijims
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0
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834
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