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Lady & the parrot...
(Preview)
A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, Hey lady, you are really ugly.Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, Hey lady, you are really ugl...
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aussie_paul
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0
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973
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Senior Citizen
(Preview)
Yesterday my daughter emailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time."Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.Her talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" sh...
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fwdoz
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2
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1042
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Ha ha...
(Preview)
Jim, you are such a conservative guy and you wear this strange earring. I always wanted to ask you how long you have been wearing it. I know you are married so you are not gay but the earring looks pretty feminine. So can you tell me whats with this earring? Dont worry, Peter. I am not gay, and yes this is a fem...
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aussie_paul
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1
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928
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A man walks into the bedroom....
(Preview)
A man walks into the bedroom with his naked wife in the bed. His wife notices he is holding a parrot. Honey, why are you holding a parrot? Let it go and come to me. This is an elephant I want to have s.x with. This is not an elephant. This is a parrot. I was talking to the parrot.!!!!!!!!!!! Aussie Paul.
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aussie_paul
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1
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988
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Doctors advice...
(Preview)
At the urging of his doctor, Jackie moved to Montana.After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.Jackie asks to the older man; Is this really a healthy place?It sure is, the man replied.When I first arrived here I couldnt say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didnt have the str...
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aussie_paul
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0
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921
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dont know if this will work but it gave me a giggle
(Preview)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhf1pIl007o
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boab
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1
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1030
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Loving Wife.
(Preview)
A man in intensive care unit awaits his death. His wife is waiting beside him and she is crying continuously. The man says to his wife with a low voice: When I was in a traffic accident, you were beside me, when I was shot with a gun, when I opened my eyes; first, I saw you, and the day I went bankrupt again, you...
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Possum3
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0
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972
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More Grandma's
(Preview)
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Lukes Nursing home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies. One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well. The phot...
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Possum3
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0
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898
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Another Grandma
(Preview)
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, Maam, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag. Oh, really? Darn it! s...
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Possum3
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1
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896
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Georgia Grandma
(Preview)
Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why...
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Possum3
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1
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759
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Up Selling
(Preview)
A young guy starts his first job a general store in a country town. His new boss tells him about up-selling, then a customer walks in and the boss says "Watch me, I'll demonstrate" Customer: I'd like a bag of lawn seed please Boss: Certainly Sir, 1 packet of Lawn Seed and a bag of fertilizer Customer: Why...
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madaboutled
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0
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793
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Thermos...
(Preview)
This guy just started at his new job, working at a p.rno shop. His boss comes out and tells him that he has to leave for a while, and asks if he can handle it. The new employee is somewhat reluctant, but with the bosss positive comments he finally agrees. A few minutes later a white woman walks in and asks, Ho...
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aussie_paul
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2
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874
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Another Sticker for the Van
(Preview)
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RustyD
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2
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975
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Oldie but goodie..
(Preview)
An elderly Irish woman of advanced age visited her doctor to ask his advice on reviving her husband's lagging libido.'What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor."Not a chance," she said... "He won't even take an aspirin.""Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra.""What's t...
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aussie_paul
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1
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942
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Rear Camera Sticker
(Preview)
Just designed a new sticker to go just above the camera at the rear of the Motorhome. I'll cut it out tonight & stick it on this week.
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madaboutled
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0
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738
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Golf Challenge
(Preview)
A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reach the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approaches them. She explains that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency which called him awa...
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fwdoz
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1
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911
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Ring of Fire
(Preview)
Paddy tells his wife "My bumhole is really burning, I've no idea what it is?" "Ring Sting" his wife says. Paddy replies "How the hell will he know?"
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fwdoz
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1
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863
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Wheat Bread
(Preview)
Two old men were sitting on a park bench discussing their love lives. One told the other "I had sex with a 30-year-old three times last night!" "Wow" his friend said "you must be using that Viagra". "Nope" the man replied "I know a secret: wheat bread. Eat lots of it and you can make love for hours. The seco...
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fwdoz
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1
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957
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Home Security System
(Preview)
Go to Salvo's and buy a used pair of 12 -14 Boots, Place them on the front patio, along with a few copies of "Guns and Ammo" magazine. Also place out four very large dog feeding bowls. Leave a note on the door that reads, "Bubba, Me and Marcel, Along with Jimmy Ray and Earl, went for more Ammo and Beer. Be ba...
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Possum3
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2
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941
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Breakfast delight.
(Preview)
She was standing in the kitchen preparing for their usual boiled egg and toast for breakfast wearing only a tee-shirt that she usually slept in. As he walked in almost awake, she turned to him and said softly, "You have to make love to me at this very moment". His eyes lit up as he wondered "I am still dream...
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Possum3
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2
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884
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