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For Sale
(Preview)
|
LLD
|
1
|
825
|
|
|
|
|
In the spirit of things.
(Preview)
A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers attention, he is yelling: Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here! A shocked pastor is passing and hears this. He asks: Why are you calling them dam fish?' The boy responds: Because I caught these fish at the local dam. So the pastor buys a couple fis...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
832
|
|
|
|
|
Logical.
(Preview)
I got chatting with a girl in a bar last night, "Can I buy you a drink?" I asked. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" she replied, "Guys like you always have girlfriends. ""No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago," I assured her. "Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "Go on then, I'll have a Cider please.......
|
aussie_paul
|
2
|
950
|
|
|
|
|
Barnaby Joyce
(Preview)
Q: Are you aware of why Barnaby Joyce is like IKEA? A: One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart!
|
fwdoz
|
1
|
837
|
|
|
|
|
Pet Python
(Preview)
This blonde was selling her pet python on eBay. A bloke rang up and asked if it was big. She said "It's massive". He said "How many feet?" She said "None. It's a snake you idiot!"
|
fwdoz
|
1
|
783
|
|
|
|
|
The King
(Preview)
The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours.The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.So, the king and the queen started out for their day of fishing. On the way, he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey...
|
fwdoz
|
1
|
876
|
|
|
|
|
Little Johnny.
(Preview)
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Late...
|
TheMonties
|
1
|
907
|
|
|
|
|
Wabbits
(Preview)
A little girl goes into a pet shop and asks the owner for a Wabbit. The Owner thinks Oh what a cute little thing she is" and says to her "Would you like a White Wabbit, or this pretty little bwown wabbit or this gwey wabbit" She replies "Fwankly mister, I don't think Percy my pet Python gives a stuff what col...
|
erad
|
0
|
747
|
|
|
|
|
In Court
(Preview)
"So let me get this straight" the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man". "That's correct" says the defendant. "Upon which" continues the prosecutor "you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her". "That's correct" says t...
|
fwdoz
|
0
|
856
|
|
|
|
|
Italian wedding
(Preview)
A sweet and innocent Italian girl gets married, and the girls mother lives downstairs. The girl has never made love to a man before, and on their wedding night, when he takes off his shirt, she goes running downstairs. Momma, Momma, she cries. I cant believe it! He has hair all over his chest! What shoul...
|
Possum3
|
0
|
655
|
|
|
|
|
The wife said....
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
836
|
|
|
|
|
Cutting
(Preview)
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed but whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told hi...
|
rgren2
|
1
|
704
|
|
|
|
|
Missing panties.
(Preview)
Two women went on a girls night out, and got slightly carried away with the ****tails. Drunk and walking home, they realised they both needed to pee. They were near a graveyard and one suggested they do their business behind a headstone. The first woman had nothing to wipe with, so she took off her pant...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
869
|
|
|
|
|
FOR THE RURAL COMMUNITY!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
Some things you just can't explain.The farmer says, "Some things you just can't explain." "So what happened that is so horrible?" the man asked. The farmer then decides to try an answer, "Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her lef...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
724
|
|
|
|
|
Me behave? Seriously?
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
701
|
|
|
|
|
Oldie but goodie.....Aboriginal Tracker Somewhere between Karratha and Onslow
(Preview)
An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air, under the sea. The Americans were incredulous. Later in the day, the tour rounded a bend o...
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
752
|
|
|
|
|
The Duck
(Preview)
|
LLD
|
0
|
741
|
|
|
|
|
How?
(Preview)
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldnt do it while he waited, so he said he didnt live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of ch...
|
Possum3
|
1
|
873
|
|
|
|
|
Talking Dog
(Preview)
A man sees a sign outside a house: 'TALKING DOG FOR SALE' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden. The man sees a very nice looking Black Labrador Retriever sitting there. "Do you really talk?" he asks the dog. "Yes!" The Labrador replies. After recov...
|
fwdoz
|
2
|
920
|
|
|
|
|
The Rabbi and the ATO
(Preview)
The ATO send an auditor to a synagogue.The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the Rabbi, and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.""Yes," answered the Rabbi."Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked."A good question," noted the Rabbi."We actually save t...
|
rgren2
|
3
|
880
|
|
|
