A father is passing by his sons bedroom one day and is amazed to see the bed nicely made and everything clean. To his surprise, he notices an envelope sitting on his sons desk.
The letter was addressed to the father. Scared, he decided to read it, thinking the worst had happened to his son.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret that I am writing to you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I didnt want a scene with you and mum.
Ive got a real connection with Sally. She is so nice, but I know you wouldnt approve because of all her tattoos, piercings, tight clothes and because shes older than I am.
But we have more than a connection. Shes pregnant.
I know Sally and I are going to be really happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and we have plenty of firewood to keep us warm for the winter. We also plan on having more children.
Sally has opened my eyes to the wonders of illegal drugs and how they dont hurt anyone. We will make money by selling them to people in the community.
Dont worry about me. Im 17 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, we will be back and you can get to know your grandchild.
Love always, Simon.
P.S. None of the above is actually true. Im just over at Nathans house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report thats on the kitchen table. Call me when its safe for me to come home.
__________________
Possum; AKA:- Ali El-Aziz Mohamed Gundawiathan
Sent from my imperial66 typewriter using carrier pigeon, message sticks and smoke signals.
