Just Joking

Possum3 · Possum3

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions, he observed. To the first mother, he said, You are obsessed with eating.Youve even named your daughter Candy. He turned to the second mom. Your obsession is money. Youv...

Possum3 · Possum3

A blonde was sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening she went home and memorised all the state capitals to prove she was smart. Back in the office the next day, a male co-worker started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement. Ive had it up to here with these...

Possum3 · Possum3

Two men are playing golf and a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. One of the golfers was about to take a swing, when he noticed the procession. He took off his hat and placed his hand over his heart and bowed his head until the funeral had passed. His opponent was taken aback and said...

Possum3 · Possum3

A herd of Buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest Buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This is natural selection and good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular...

Possum3 · Possum3

Copy & paste from MSN.1. Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies. 2. How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed. 3. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? I dont know, but their flag is a huge plus. 4. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it. 5. Why arent koal...

rgren2 · rgren2

It had been snowing all night. So:8:00 am I made a snowman.8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 So, I made a snow woman.8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuouschest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 The gay couple l...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked "Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"The little boy replied "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt" the golfer mumbles to himself.Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"Thinking the ma...

fwdoz · fwdoz

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their 'secret' base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pi...

fwdoz · fwdoz

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a...

fwdoz · fwdoz

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, bec...

fwdoz · fwdoz

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. "No!" yelled the farmer "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they...

Paintar · Paintar

An old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she d...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Possum3 · Possum3

A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom, "I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes". Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expr...

rgren2 · rgren2

A journalist goes to a poor remote village for a documentary.He saw an old man and asked him to narrate a typical happy story of his village.The old man smiled and began: "One day, a long time ago, my goat got lost in the mountains. As is our tradition, all the men of the village gathered to drink vodka firs...

Possum3 · Possum3

A blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy and then looks into the front of the cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty seat i...

Possum3 · Possum3

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, in which impatient passengers fretted in their seats, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... cheers - John

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Obsessive? (Preview) A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. You all have obsessions, he observed. To the first mother, he said, You are obsessed with eating.Youve even named your daughter Candy. He turned to the second mom. Your obsession is money. Youv...	Possum3	1	1061	09:16 AM May 21, 2018 by Blues Man
	Blonde. (Preview) A blonde was sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening she went home and memorised all the state capitals to prove she was smart. Back in the office the next day, a male co-worker started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement. Ive had it up to here with these...	Possum3	3	868	09:18 AM May 21, 2018 by Blues Man
	Golf (Preview) Two men are playing golf and a funeral procession appears on the road next to the course. One of the golfers was about to take a swing, when he noticed the procession. He took off his hat and placed his hand over his heart and bowed his head until the funeral had passed. His opponent was taken aback and said...	Possum3	0	835	09:29 AM May 20, 2018 by Possum3
	That's why. (Preview) A herd of Buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest Buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This is natural selection and good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular...	Possum3	3	809	07:49 PM May 21, 2018 by JA2340
	Sick - Dad jokes (Preview) Copy & paste from MSN.1. Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies. 2. How does a squid go into battle? Well-armed. 3. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? I dont know, but their flag is a huge plus. 4. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it. 5. Why arent koal...	Possum3	0	954	12:33 PM May 19, 2018 by Possum3
	Can't win. (Preview) It had been snowing all night. So:8:00 am I made a snowman.8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.8:15 So, I made a snow woman.8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuouschest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.8:20 The gay couple l...	rgren2	7	1040	07:48 PM May 21, 2018 by JA2340
	Where is the Post Office? (Preview) A delightful angelic little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies room of the gas station.As he stood there, he was approached by a man who asked "Sonny, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"The little boy replied "Sure! Just go straight down this street two blocks and turn to your right...	fwdoz	0	775	07:34 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Golf Deal (Preview) A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt" the golfer mumbles to himself.Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"Thinking the ma...	fwdoz	0	744	07:32 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Area 51 (Preview) You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their 'secret' base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pi...	fwdoz	1	831	07:55 PM May 18, 2018 by 67HR
	Painting Thief (Preview) A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such a...	fwdoz	0	709	07:15 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Scotch (Preview) I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, bec...	fwdoz	0	624	07:12 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Fries (Preview) There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. "No!" yelled the farmer "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them, they...	fwdoz	0	771	07:09 PM May 18, 2018 by fwdoz
	Tight one (Preview) An old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she d...	Paintar	2	942	10:31 PM May 18, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	How many did you get right (Preview)	Woody n Sue	4	931	10:33 PM May 18, 2018 by Woody n Sue
	A priest is missing an ummmm Roster (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	860	08:42 PM May 18, 2018 by JA2340
	Another one. (Preview) A blonde is on a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom, "I'm sorry, one of our engines has just shut off. We'll be delayed 45 minutes". Suddenly there's another bang. Once again, the intercom clicks on and the pilot expr...	Possum3	1	986	04:12 PM May 17, 2018 by Blues Man
	Lost in the mountains (Preview) A journalist goes to a poor remote village for a documentary.He saw an old man and asked him to narrate a typical happy story of his village.The old man smiled and began: "One day, a long time ago, my goat got lost in the mountains. As is our tradition, all the men of the village gathered to drink vodka firs...	rgren2	2	830	09:24 PM May 21, 2018 by Yaketty
	The right way (Preview) A blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy and then looks into the front of the cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty seat i...	Possum3	1	954	08:22 PM May 15, 2018 by Blues Man
	Not the answer he wanted. (Preview) Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, in which impatient passengers fretted in their seats, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by...	Possum3	1	830	08:23 PM May 15, 2018 by Blues Man
	Band Auditions (Preview) Gday... cheers - John	rockylizard	0	949	08:12 PM May 13, 2018 by rockylizard
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