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Morty and Selma, an elderly couple, were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"Selma, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"Morty yelled, "He says you wer...

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven.While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates.She saw a beautiful banquet table.Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her.They saw her and...

*-- Edited by aussie_paul on Tuesday 3rd of September 2024 05:45:04 PM*

-- Edited by aussie_paul on Tuesday 3rd of September 2024 05:45:04 PM

· Shared with Your friends Elderly Lady.My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.He said with excitement, "y...

A teenager approached his grandmother nervously and asked her a question.Granny, have you seen a bottle of pills lying around? The label says LSD, he asked.The grandmother swung around quickly as the boy prepared to be scolded.To hell with the pills! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!

Mrs. Donovan was walking down OConnell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.The Father said, Top o the mornin To ye! Arent ye Mrs. Donovan And didnt I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?She replied, Aye, that ye did, Father.The Father asked, And be there Any wee little ones yet?She...

Is the SSM a thing that needs to be put in the circuit by an electrician and what is purpose of it?

Hi Folks, Just wondering if anyone has a similar problem sleeping as we get older, just recently been waking up anywhere between 2.00 am to 3.00 am, generally got to bed around 9.30 pm, especially if TV is rubbish, but really makes no difference what time I go to bed, always the same time waking up. Iv'e...

Gday. Irish here. Big things happening. Been lookin at all things caravans. Does ya head in mate! Car is a Toyota Hi-Lux 2014. With a GVM to 3125. Waiting on a single axel van. 16 foot. Demo. Been put through its paces. Wasnt going to buy a van, but well Wife said Pleas your self. So thats a yes Cheers. Irish...

40 Of The Most Beautiful Natural Wonders In Australia (msn.com) Among the 40, was a photo of Sydney Harbour. When I saw it my most immediate thought that struck me was, I wish I had been around before all the construction. It made me sad.

Putin is sitting on the backseat of his car, while the driver goes through rural russia. The driver hits something, and goes to check. "Vladimir Vladimirovich", the driver says. "We hit a farmers pig. It is dead." "So? Let's get going." "Sir, I will tell the farmers what has happened." "Well make it qu...

Hello everyone, My son who lives in Canberra bought a 2nd hand (2years old) Jayco Eagle recently. He found last weekend that while the sub was out, his battery was discharging. I suggested he may have a blown fuse, a dodgy joint somewhere. Today he did some testing including wriggling some wires &...

An old man at the end of a jetty was selling seagulls $2.50 for one, or three for five bucks.A curious tourist approached him and said, I'll take one, please, before handing over his money.The old man pocketed the money, pointed up to the sky and said: See that one there? That's your one.

Half price fare.An airline introduced a half-price fare for women accompanying their husbands on business trips.Expecting valuable testimonials, the airline wrote to all of the wives whod used the special rate, asking them if they enjoyed their trip.Letters are still pouring in asking, What tr...