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Two old guys talking: "My 75th birthday yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV" "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!" "Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

A woman is having a hard time getting her tomatoes to ripen so she goes to her neighbour and asks for help with her problem. The neighbour says, Oh thats easy! All you have to do is go out at midnight and dance around in the garden naked for a few minutes, and the tomatoes will become so embarrassed, they wi...

An elderly couple, who were both previously widowed were preparing for their wedding overseas. Before they walked down the aisle they went out to dinner at a fancy restaurant where they discussed how their marriage might work. They discussed their finances, living arrangements and so on. Fina...

A proud mother telephoned a Sunday newspaper to announce she had given birth to eight children. The line was bad, and the operator didn't hear the message. "Would you repeat that?" the operator asked. "Not if I can help it" said the mother.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.. She introduces herself as a representative...

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a beautiful, young, blonde woman carrying a child. She started walking slowly t...

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell the husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story "Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches" and...

King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny Knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Me...

Three engineers and three accountants are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" one of the accountants asks. "Watch and you'll see,"...

Poor taste joke - removed -- Edited by RustyJeep on Thursday 27th of July 2023 07:15:28 AM

Chromosomes XX = FemaleXY = MaleYYY = Delilah

I get it, UHF can be useful in many circumstances. However, I'm 67yo and the older I get the more simple I prefer my life to be. The less distractions, the less tools, gadgets, items to charge and I've found I'm a lot happier. Even my 5m caravan has been set up to minimalise packing up and setting up times...

Hi all, Well be passing through in a few days and looking for some place safe to stop for two nights with a caravan and swag for our teenager. Any recommendations from anyone would be appreciated. Mark

I note in this morning's news a car carrier is alight near The Netherlands coast, three thousand new vehicles on board, 25 of which are Electric Vehicles and suspected cause of fire. Electric car suspected in ship fire off Netherlands | news.com.au Australias leading news site

We are going to Fiji in few weeks and we know nothing about it. Could anymore who has been there give us few tips please. ..about money cash or cardwhat to see and what not to miss? And what not to do at all? Thanks in advance for your answers. REGARDS. GG

Why is it that there is so much dust & dirt under rugs. Particles infinitely larger than that could work their way through the tight weaving. These are Persian rugs, not rubbish from Australia retailers, some of them silk rugs. I vacuum regularly with a Nilfisk commercial vacuum V600, brillian...

Good Afternoon, I have a Retreat Fraser 199R July 2017 with 2 X 150w solar panels on the roof and 2 X 125 batteries two years old. Can someone please help me with why I run out of power after a couple of hours free camping. TIA from Merrill

We have a 6 ft. Square tube and welded wire fence in the front yard, and last Saturday, when I heard some thieving Punks might be bringing their BS out to the country, I wanted to make sure they ran into a little resistance before meeting my Kimber 9mm, so I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along th...