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HOW DO YOU FIND SOMEONE TO MARRY?(written by kids)1. You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. G...

A city fella out in the country for a drive stops at a small Pub for a beer. When he walks in he notices a table with four chairs where some poker is being played. Looking closer he sees there is actually a cattle dog on one chair playing cards. He comments "wow that sure is one really clever dog being able to p...

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: "All 40 accounted for". "But I only have 36 sheep" says the farmer. "I know" says the sheepdog. "But I rounded them up"

Some profound thoughts here? -- Edited by yobarr on Friday 28th of July 2023 05:50:31 PM

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be The One, but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police womans uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.

Two old guys talking: "My 75th birthday yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV" "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!" "Yup. Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

A woman is having a hard time getting her tomatoes to ripen so she goes to her neighbour and asks for help with her problem. The neighbour says, Oh thats easy! All you have to do is go out at midnight and dance around in the garden naked for a few minutes, and the tomatoes will become so embarrassed, they wi...

An elderly couple, who were both previously widowed were preparing for their wedding overseas. Before they walked down the aisle they went out to dinner at a fancy restaurant where they discussed how their marriage might work. They discussed their finances, living arrangements and so on. Fina...

A proud mother telephoned a Sunday newspaper to announce she had given birth to eight children. The line was bad, and the operator didn't hear the message. "Would you repeat that?" the operator asked. "Not if I can help it" said the mother.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.. She introduces herself as a representative...

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a beautiful, young, blonde woman carrying a child. She started walking slowly t...

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell the husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story "Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches" and...

King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny Knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Me...

Three engineers and three accountants are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy a ticket and watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" one of the accountants asks. "Watch and you'll see,"...

Poor taste joke - removed -- Edited by RustyJeep on Thursday 27th of July 2023 07:15:28 AM

Chromosomes XX = FemaleXY = MaleYYY = Delilah

I get it, UHF can be useful in many circumstances. However, I'm 67yo and the older I get the more simple I prefer my life to be. The less distractions, the less tools, gadgets, items to charge and I've found I'm a lot happier. Even my 5m caravan has been set up to minimalise packing up and setting up times...

Hi all, Well be passing through in a few days and looking for some place safe to stop for two nights with a caravan and swag for our teenager. Any recommendations from anyone would be appreciated. Mark