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911
(Preview)
An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentallyshoots his wife. He immediately dials 911 Irishman: ''It's my wife! I've accidentally shot her,I've killed her!'' Operator: ''Please calm down Sir, can you firstmake sure she is actually dead!'' clickclick - *BANG* Irishman: ''Okay, done t...
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Firefly
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0
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997
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Grandpas
(Preview)
THIS OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPAS FEEL WARM & FUZZY A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room .... "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as G...
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Disco Duck
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0
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854
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Wear underwear in Public !
(Preview)
Advice to all men Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Daily News comes this story of a Stockton-on-Tees couple who drove their car to Asda, only to have their car break down in the car park. The husband told his wife to carry on with the shopping whi...
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Gary and Kerry
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2
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1028
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Euro-English
(Preview)
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and...
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Palebushman
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6
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1172
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Ever wondered ?
(Preview)
Ever wondered about Guts or Balls... There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by...
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Disco Duck
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0
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657
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Important Dietary Information
(Preview)
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually.. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live lo...
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The Gnome
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3
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1182
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Relationships
(Preview)
I'm about three years into my relationship now and have started having erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas about what the problem could be. She bought me some Viagra I bought the fat bitch a treadmill.
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Disco Duck
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0
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914
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Rodney Rude at his best. (Warning strong language)
(Preview)
A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t !' ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are women like clouds? Eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day ---...
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Gary and Kerry
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0
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1040
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Irish Farmer
(Preview)
An Irish farmer named Seamus had a road accident with a lorry. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.. Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded...
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jimricho
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1
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1042
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For the golfers.....
(Preview)
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make,I'm not a virgin." The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age." The wife continues, "Yeah, I've b...
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Basil Faulty
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1
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865
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help
(Preview)
we are buying our first van and are looking at a 7.3 mtr van and they tell me i cant pull it with a 2004 ford wagon is this right or should i go smaller percy
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percy
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0
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616
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The Irish
(Preview)
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Firefly
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1
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1172
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Operating system failure
(Preview)
Tech support Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 . In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many...
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twobob
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0
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898
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Another Blonde Joke
(Preview)
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The officer cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lung...
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Firefly
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0
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822
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woman - watch out for them
(Preview)
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football game. At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket. 'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the men. 'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women. They all boar...
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twobob
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0
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703
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fear
(Preview)
a pharmacist returns to his shop to find a guy leaning against the counter sweating and shaking. he asks the girl behind the counter "whats up with him" , she replies " he came in for some cough medicine and as i couldn't find any i gave hime a whole bottle of laxative". "you id...
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twobob
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1
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647
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Ah those Kiwis
(Preview)
For those of us who love everything to do with Kiwis... Two Kiwis, Ian and Craig, are walking down a street in Bondi. Ian happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign said 'Suits $10.00 each, Shirts $4.00 each, Trousers $5.00 a pair.' Ian says to his pa...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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928
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A Halloween Tale
(Preview)
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,when behind him he hears: BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins t...
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Firefly
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2
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1072
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I THINK YOU ARE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS !
(Preview)
I THINK YOU ARE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS ! A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' No...
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jimricho
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1
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811
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Is there an after life? Answer -
(Preview)
THE AFTERLIFE A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact. Mary. Mary. Is that you, Fred? Yes, Ive come b...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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595
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