Just Joking

jules47 · jules47

My one day of employmentSo after landing my new job as a Bunnings greeter (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day ................... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean, woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them...

robell · robell

Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and **** for Brains. EATING OUT· When the bill ar...

jimbo · jimbo

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

> > HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND > THINKING, > SURELY I CAN'T > LOOK THAT OLD? WELL.....YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE! > > MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY > FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I...

robell · robell

WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 'If you don't straight...

jimbo · jimbo

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. _ Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road. The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know this face but I can't put a name to it." The second pick...

robell · robell

you gotta luv the irish!! Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a v...

jules47 · jules47

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected! Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly ......... on a broomstick..... We are flexible like that.

Vic · Vic

This is funny, but also very sad for those in that position.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV-oYe4xLkU -- Edited by Vic on Tuesday 2nd of August 2011 03:46:38 PM

Beth54 · Beth54

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. 'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him. 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. 'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away...

Beth54 · Beth54

If you're offended by the 'f' word, don't watch this, but it is very funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xtcB457jqQ

jimbo · jimbo

THE TOILET SEAT Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting i...

Peterpan · Peterpan

A little elderly lady was wandering through a town in which she was a stranger. In her wanderings she became lost. She decided to ask for directions and thought it best to get it from a local householder. She knocked at the door of a house that was painted red. The door was answered by a small man dressed...

jimbo · jimbo

Subject: Fw: rye bread Two old guys, one 80 and the other 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 yea...

sucastja · sucastja

This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors. "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newsagent, loudly demanded to know. "Madam", said the newsagent, "today is Saturday. The S...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. Then the Professor started the class by telling them: 'In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities a...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Not sure if this should be in the joke section as it right on target for mine

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

After a visit to the whore house, a man notices green lumps on his willy, So he goes to the doctors Thats serious says the doctor. You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears? Yes says the man seriously. Well says the doctor Youve got brothel sprouts.

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake in Canberra . The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." " Well," said the bi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

You appeared from no where and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally, I drifted off to sleep. Today when I aw...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	my new job (Preview) My one day of employmentSo after landing my new job as a Bunnings greeter (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day ................... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean, woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them...	jules47	1	802	08:51 PM Aug 11, 2011 by Travel Bug
	True or false (Preview) Men Are Just Happier People NICKNAMES· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and ** for Brains. EATING OUT**· When the bill ar...	robell	0	1036	10:24 PM Aug 8, 2011 by robell
	Hope this is Okay! (Preview) Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning...	jimbo	9	1268	08:34 PM Aug 6, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	AGE! (Preview) > > HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND > THINKING, > SURELY I CAN'T > LOOK THAT OLD? WELL.....YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE! > > MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY > FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I...	justcruisin01	1	1148	09:15 PM Aug 5, 2011 by jimbo
	How many times have you heard these (Preview) WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 'If you don't straight...	robell	6	1308	08:55 PM Aug 4, 2011 by robell
	Irish (Preview) The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. _ Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road. The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know this face but I can't put a name to it." The second pick...	jimbo	1	952	06:38 PM Aug 4, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Irish love (Preview) you gotta luv the irish!! Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a v...	robell	0	934	06:43 PM Aug 2, 2011 by robell
	Feminine Philosophy (Preview) Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected! Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly ......... on a broomstick..... We are flexible like that.	jules47	0	944	04:29 PM Aug 2, 2011 by jules47
	I'd Rather Be Dead Than Wet My Bed.....Harry Nilson (Preview) This is funny, but also very sad for those in that position.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV-oYe4xLkU -- Edited by Vic on Tuesday 2nd of August 2011 03:46:38 PM	Vic	0	1079	03:46 PM Aug 2, 2011 by Vic
	The photo (Preview) After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. 'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him. 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. 'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away...	Beth54	2	1252	09:15 PM Aug 1, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Noni Hazelhurst (Preview) If you're offended by the 'f' word, don't watch this, but it is very funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xtcB457jqQ	Beth54	4	1295	06:29 PM Jul 31, 2011 by Beth54
	Toilet seat (Preview) THE TOILET SEAT Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting i...	jimbo	0	1106	11:12 AM Jul 31, 2011 by jimbo
	Another Oldie (Preview) A little elderly lady was wandering through a town in which she was a stranger. In her wanderings she became lost. She decided to ask for directions and thought it best to get it from a local householder. She knocked at the door of a house that was painted red. The door was answered by a small man dressed...	Peterpan	0	936	05:12 PM Jul 29, 2011 by Peterpan
	Rye Bread (Preview) Subject: Fw: rye bread Two old guys, one 80 and the other 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 yea...	jimbo	0	964	11:12 AM Jul 29, 2011 by jimbo
	A Very Upset Customer (Preview) This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors. "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newsagent, loudly demanded to know. "Madam", said the newsagent, "today is Saturday. The S...	sucastja	0	901	10:14 AM Jul 29, 2011 by sucastja
	It's IMPORTANT to pay Attention (Preview) Students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. Then the Professor started the class by telling them: 'In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities a...	Zoomtopz	0	925	04:57 AM Jul 29, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	Juila (Preview) Not sure if this should be in the joke section as it right on target for mine	Wombat 280	1	852	02:41 PM Jul 28, 2011 by JRH
	Whore house (Preview) After a visit to the whore house, a man notices green lumps on his willy, So he goes to the doctors Thats serious says the doctor. You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears? Yes says the man seriously. Well says the doctor Youve got brothel sprouts.	Cowboy7307	0	901	09:29 AM Jul 27, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	Two Crocodiles (Preview) Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake in Canberra . The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." " Well," said the bi...	Zoomtopz	0	859	06:40 AM Jul 27, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	SUMMER ROMANCE (Preview) You appeared from no where and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally, I drifted off to sleep. Today when I aw...	justcruisin01	1	944	09:26 PM Jul 26, 2011 by Happywanderer
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