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Old Farmers Advice
(Preview)
Old Farmer's Advice Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Meannes...
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Duh
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0
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627
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Test Results
(Preview)
A woman in her fifties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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557
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Guts Or Balls
(Preview)
We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below... GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: '...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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551
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How to Clean House
(Preview)
HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE 1. Open a new file in your PC. 2. Name it "Housework." 3. Send it to the recycle bin. 4. Empty the recycle bin. 5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want To delete Housework permanently?" 6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and p...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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621
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Sexy Frog
(Preview)
A blonde goes into her local pet shop in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign on the box says: "Sex Frogs! Only £25 each! Comes with complete instructions." The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody is watching her. Certain t...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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672
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Being Honest
(Preview)
A fellow passed a house with a little red light burning in front, so he stepped inside. There was nothing in sight and nothing there but an empty bare hallway, with two doors reading, "Over 35" and "Under 35." He decided to be truthful and entered the door that said, "Over 35...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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666
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FEMALE GOLFERS
(Preview)
Female golfers A woman was out enjoying a round of golf with her girlfriends."Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time ! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband ! He'll be so hacked off if it's not ready on time."When she got home, she discovered all...
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sarg
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1
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765
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whoddunnit
(Preview)
Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Swiss Alps, were a Kiwi guy, an Australian bloke, a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde Swiss girl with large breasts. The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel...
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Hoodathunkit
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1
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589
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Art
(Preview)
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink Willie. The curator...
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Hoodathunkit
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2
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747
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for those of you in high office
(Preview)
From the cartoon strip"wizard of id".
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bill12
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2
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730
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Where and how yodelling began
(Preview)
Have you ever wondered where and how yodelling began? Many years ago a man was travelling through the mountains of Switzerland Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that he could slee...
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Bassett52
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4
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893
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Test for Dementia
(Preview)
Test for Dementia Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.... Ready? GO!!! (Scroll down) First Question: You are participating in a race. You...
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Hoodathunkit
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3
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718
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What is Celibacy ?
(Preview)
What is Celibacy? Celibacy can either be a choice in life or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened tothe instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know thethings that are important to each other." He asked...
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sarg
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1
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559
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NEW TEETH
(Preview)
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only 8minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only 10 minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit a...
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sarg
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1
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688
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Patience
(Preview)
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Hoodathunkit
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5
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1041
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Irish Confession
(Preview)
'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my lastconfession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.' The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and saythree Hail Mary's.' Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered th...
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HOOK
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5
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924
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Gotcha!
(Preview)
The mother-in-law comes home and finds her son-in-law furious and packing his suitcase. "What happened?""What happened? - I'll tell you what happenned! I sent an email to my wife saying that I was coming home from my trip today. I got home and guess what I found?... My wife, yes my Ra...
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Magnarc
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0
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631
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Ethel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
Ethel Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined i...
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barina
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2
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758
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My Trip to the Grocery Store
(Preview)
There was a bit of confusion at my grocery store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my goods, the cashier said, "Strip down - facing me." Making a mental note to complain to my local MP about Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking had final...
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barina
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0
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549
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Tetanus Shot!!
(Preview)
This is for you old folks, anyone over 50 is eligible! An old man in his mid-seventies struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?' He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.' She says, 'Why, are you sick?' ...
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barina
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1
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725
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