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SENIOR CITIZEN
(Preview)
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: 'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!' 'Do I know her?' 'Nope!' 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.' 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.' 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.' 'Well, then, is she...
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sarg
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0
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760
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Police Officers: Australia, Canada & America
(Preview)
The difference between an Australian Police Officer,.. a Canadian Police Officer... and an American Police Officer. QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are and your Sergeant hates you) walking on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife...
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Hurls
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2
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901
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I know everbody!
(Preview)
While a lot of you guys havent met me yet, let me tell you, I know everyone. I was having a drink with a buddy the other day, telling him about all the people I knew and he bet me $10.00 that I wouldnt know the next person to walk into the bar. Within minutes a bloke walks in and called out "Hey Hendo what's...
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Hendo
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2
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676
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Beer commercial
(Preview)
NO COMMENT!!!!! BE WARNED, A LITTLE BIT OF LANGUAGE USED. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=750_1361955514
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Gunsondeck
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0
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640
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Ecstasy......
(Preview)
He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again...... Back and forth... Back and forth..... In and out....... She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back. She was gettin...
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Vic41
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3
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688
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THE SEX STARVED ARMY;
(Preview)
A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert . During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there. The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on th...
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justcruisin01
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2
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834
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Before & After Marriage.....
(Preview)
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Vic41
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0
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1062
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Huggies v Depends
(Preview)
This is most likely very true Someone has finally explained the reason baby nappies have brand names such as "Luvs" and "Huggies," while undergarments for old people are called "Depends." You see, when babies **** their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em an...
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Hurls
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0
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627
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Fifty Shade Of Chocolate
(Preview)
FIFTY SHADES OF CHOCOLATE Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker. It was just After Eight. They got off at Quality Street . He asked her name. 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said, with a Wispa. 'I'm Marathon , the one with the nuts' he replied. He touched her Cream Eggs, which w...
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Vic41
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1
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712
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BLONDE MILK;
(Preview)
A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Dave to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. Dave thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the doo...
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justcruisin01
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0
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769
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Directions from a pastor!
(Preview)
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right." Th...
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sarg
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0
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684
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Sweet revenge. so email it to friends
(Preview)
This is something to think about when negative people Are doing their best to rain on your parade So remember this story the next time A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: &q...
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JayDee
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0
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724
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Proud to be an Aussie
(Preview)
Proud to be an Aussie If you had bought $1,000.00 of Qantas shares one year ago, you wouldhave $49.00 today! If you bought $1,000.00 AIG shares one year ago, you would have$33.00today! If you bought $1,000.00 worth of Lehman Brothers shares one year ago,you w...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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808
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Inner Peace
(Preview)
Inner Peace If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give y...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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796
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For all you Old Blokes out there
(Preview)
Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his off...
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Hurls
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1
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723
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SURPRISE
(Preview)
Once upon a time, there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for Baked Beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love.When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to hersel...
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sarg
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0
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864
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Surgeons Preferences
(Preview)
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best Patients to operate on. The first surgeon, from New York , says, 'I like to see accountants On my operating table because when you open them up, everything Inside is numbered.' The second, from Chicago , responds, 'Yeah, but you should tr...
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Hurls
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0
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650
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Answers to Wife
(Preview)
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women...
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Hurls
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0
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611
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NEW NEIGHBOUR
(Preview)
I've got a new neighbour! She lives right next door! I can see her place from my back deck! She's single! She's blonde She has the body of a porn star! I watched as she came from work this evening! I was surprised when she waled up my driveway and nocked on my door! I rushed to open it, she looked in the eye and s...
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Hendo
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1
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981
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You know what I mean
(Preview)
Eight Words with two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female...... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing cricket without a box. 3. COMMUNICAT...
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JayDee
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0
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847
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