Just Joking

Big Gorilla · Big Gorilla

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing. Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me&q...

bridget · bridget

rosco532 · rosco532

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman stared str...

rosco532 · rosco532

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827". Then he realizes t...

HOOK · HOOK

An old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?' George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" And G...

Hendo · Hendo

I was in Somnia last month but didn't get much sleep. ( Your turn )

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A sign of the times > A woman walks into the City Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .> 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?'> 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.> She says, 'Sit down Terry.'...

bridget · bridget

Nelly · Nelly

I was asked by the local minister to play the bagpipes at a funeral for an old homeless man - he had no family, no friends and was to be buried in a paupers grave. I agreed to do this for the old man. On the day of the funeral I got lost, and being a man, I didn't ask for directions therefore I was an hour late to th...

sarg · sarg

Very sad news at the Cadbury factory in Tasmania today. A member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath. He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The Milky Bars are on me", everyone just cheered. ...

copper1 · copper1

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour.... He had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. the woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so r...

copper1 · copper1

When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t. This ******* looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Crown Larger or VB?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t? *********** I was talking to a girl i...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

JC.

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

LORD, THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER .. Judy married Ted; they had 13 children. Ted died. She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Judy remarried again, and this time, she & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 chi...

Vic41 · Vic41

http://safeshare.tv/w/GnFzeOCVZF

sarg · sarg

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. 'Hello,' said the little boy'Hi,' replied the little girl. 'Where are you going?' asked the little boy. 'I've been to church this morn...

Yendorane · Yendorane

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...

Hendo · Hendo

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	MISPLACED MY GLASSES (Preview) Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing. Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me&q...	Big Gorilla	2	612	05:02 PM Jan 17, 2014 by Bryan
	I love chocolate..only a male would think like this ..lol (Preview)	bridget	7	674	01:54 PM Jan 17, 2014 by JRH
	Romantic Dinner (Preview) A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman stared str...	rosco532	0	549	08:03 PM Jan 16, 2014 by rosco532
	For Music Lovers (Preview) A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827". Then he realizes t...	rosco532	0	430	09:37 AM Jan 16, 2014 by rosco532
	Miracle of God (Preview) An old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?' George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in...	HOOK	1	564	12:23 PM Jan 16, 2014 by sarg
	AN EXPLANATION OF LIFE; (Preview) On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" And G...	justcruisin01	1	674	12:20 PM Jan 16, 2014 by sarg
	Places I've been # 2 (Preview) I was in Somnia last month but didn't get much sleep. ( Your turn )	Hendo	9	820	11:48 AM Jan 16, 2014 by Hendo
	A SIGHN OF THE TIMES; (Preview) A sign of the times > A woman walks into the City Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .> 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?'> 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.> She says, 'Sit down Terry.'...	justcruisin01	1	624	12:38 AM Jan 16, 2014 by Bunkerbob
	flowers anyone ...lol (Preview)	bridget	0	505	01:10 PM Jan 15, 2014 by bridget
	Burial (Preview) I was asked by the local minister to play the bagpipes at a funeral for an old homeless man - he had no family, no friends and was to be buried in a paupers grave. I agreed to do this for the old man. On the day of the funeral I got lost, and being a man, I didn't ask for directions therefore I was an hour late to th...	Nelly	0	566	09:33 AM Jan 15, 2014 by Nelly
	TASMANIAN ACCCIDENT. (Preview) Very sad news at the Cadbury factory in Tasmania today. A member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath. He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The Milky Bars are on me", everyone just cheered. ...	sarg	1	612	02:49 PM Jan 15, 2014 by copper1
	TOMATOE'S....!! (Preview) A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbour.... He had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. the woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so r...	copper1	0	553	09:22 PM Jan 14, 2014 by copper1
	When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t. (Preview) When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t. This ***** looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Crown Larger or VB?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." When you are over sixty who gives a sh#t? ********* I was talking to a girl i...	copper1	1	575	09:14 PM Jan 14, 2014 by sarg
	MANUAL LABOR; (Preview) JC.	justcruisin01	1	613	08:20 PM Jan 14, 2014 by mongrel
	Ethel and Margaret (Preview) LORD, THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER .. Judy married Ted; they had 13 children. Ted died. She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later. Judy remarried again, and this time, she & John had 5 more children. Judy finally died, after having 25 chi...	Gunsondeck	2	1101	06:10 PM Jan 14, 2014 by Bunkerbob
	Masculine Moments..... (Preview) http://safeshare.tv/w/GnFzeOCVZF	Vic41	1	769	05:27 PM Jan 14, 2014 by GaryKelly
	Sunday CLOTHES (Preview) A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. 'Hello,' said the little boy'Hi,' replied the little girl. 'Where are you going?' asked the little boy. 'I've been to church this morn...	sarg	1	718	03:52 PM Jan 14, 2014 by mongrel
	Morris (Preview) Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...	Yendorane	2	723	10:03 PM Jan 13, 2014 by sarg
	Places I've been (Preview) I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several...	Hendo	0	510	09:29 AM Jan 13, 2014 by Hendo
	: BETTY WELCOMING HOME HER CRICKET TEAM. (Preview)	Gunsondeck	0	529	09:21 AM Jan 13, 2014 by Gunsondeck
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