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Senior Wedding.......
(Preview)
Ozzie aged 92 and Nola age 89, living on the Gold Coast, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss their wedding plans and on the way pass a substantial Pharmacy...and Ozzie suggests they go in... Ozzie addresses the Pharmacist behind the counter: 'Are you th...
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Goldfinger
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0
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771
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The Irish Job Interview....
(Preview)
Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had...
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Goldfinger
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0
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798
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Irish Medical Dictionary
(Preview)
Irish Medical Dictionary Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What you do when patients die. Benign: What you be, after you be eight. Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan: Searching for Kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A shee...
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Redlander
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0
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865
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How to work out the sex of ants (Sorry)
(Preview)
You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water. If it sinks: girl ant If it floats: boy ant
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Kev-Maz
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1
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730
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Ok sorry about the last one don't know what went wrong but I fixed it here is another
(Preview)
Little 10 year old Freddie goes for a long weekend with his uncle a wealthy farmer ( there's not many of them around ) On the first evening when uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with ****tails they are interrupted by an out of breath Freddie, who shouts Uncle John come quick the bull is ju...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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654
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Talking to the farm animals
(Preview)
A cowboy said to the New Zealand rancher is that your dog, yup the rancher replied, Mind if I talk to him Darn fool don't you know dogs don't talk. The cowboy replied so what's the harm? Howdy said the cowboy to the dog Hello said the dog the Ranchers eyes popped wide The cowboy continued, is this your m...
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Woody n Sue
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1
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851
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.....A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch N.Z.......
(Preview)
A bloke walks into a bar in Christchurch, New Zealand and orders a shandy... All the Kiwis sitting around the bar look up, expecting just to see another Aussie visitor... The barman says, "you ain't from around here are ya?" The bloke says "No, I'm a Canuck.....from Canada." Th...
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Goldfinger
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1
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996
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Three beautiful red roses by her hospital pillow........
(Preview)
<This is not as risque' as it may first appear..> A young Lady goes to her Doctor and confides she wants an 'operation' because she feels her vagina lips are toooo large. She respectively asks her Doctor to keep her 'operation' a secret, as she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out....
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Goldfinger
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0
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796
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Excerpt from Dublin Times..Vanilla Pudding Robbery....
(Preview)
Excerpt from an article which I believe appeared in the Dublin Times about a Bank Robbery on December 2nd.... Subtitled 'THE VANILLA PUDDING ROBBERY'. ....'Once inside the Bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers who exp...
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Goldfinger
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0
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779
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The Easy Fix
(Preview)
Medicare Part G -- NursingHome Plan: Picture this. You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what can you do? Why not use our Medicare Part G -- Nursing Home Plan Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older, a gun (Part G),and four bullets. You...
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Russue
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4
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1107
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Faithfull Ol' Bluey.....a man's best mate....
(Preview)
Recounted to me by an old prospecting mate round the camp fire...... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithfull old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side...water has given out that morning and no food.......... ..... He looks into th...
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Goldfinger
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0
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762
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The Cat - an oldie but a goodie
(Preview)
A cat died and went to heaven. God met her at the gates and said, You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking. The cat thought for a minute and the said, All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on. God said Say n...
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Jenzarl
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0
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689
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Just One Job
(Preview)
A HUSBAND WHO LISTENS He said: "What can I help you with? She said: Take this bag of potatoes, Peel half of them and put them in the pot for me Dedicated To all those husbands out there who really try!
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Redlander
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1
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1327
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Our National Anthem
(Preview)
Maybe a bit late for Australia Day 2015 but what do you reckon for 2016 :) http://youtu.be/xiEycVMKoJo
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D and D
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1
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907
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Paddy
(Preview)
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking space. Looking up to heaven, he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking space, I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish whiskey!"Miraculou...
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Jenzarl
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1
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1088
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Tour de France
(Preview)
RARE PHOTO OF 1940 TOUR DE FRANCE
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Gunsondeck
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6
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1068
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Englishman in France
(Preview)
This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk. The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he dra...
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Yendorane
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2
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1018
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$15 Porsche
(Preview)
A 16year old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents wanted to know where he got the car ? He told them he bought it on his way home. With what money you cant afford a Porsche hell we cant afford a Porsche Well he said this one cost me $15. what his farther yelled nobody would sell a Porsche for $15 where d...
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Woody n Sue
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1
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1041
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You know it’s hot in Australia when…..
(Preview)
1) The best parking spot is determined by shade not distance2) Hot water comes out of both taps3) You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron4) The temperature drops below 32C and you feel chilly5) You discover that in January and February it only takes two fingers to steer a car6...
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aussie_paul
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0
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1311
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Te Duck and the Lawyer
(Preview)
THE DUCK AND THE LAWYERA big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator resp...
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Blues Man
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0
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959
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