Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living in North Western Queensland up in the foothills.....

Pa's sensitive nose has indicated that the hole under the 'outhouse' is full.

He goes into the homestead and tells Ma that he doesn't really know what to do to empty the hole.

Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road?..he must be smart 'cause he's a Uni gradjyate".

So Pa drives down to the neighbour's house and asks him.

"Mr. Uni gradjyate, my 'outhouse' hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it."

The young'n tells him, "get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.

Put them both under your 'outhouse' and light them both at the same time.

The first one will then go off, and shoot your outhouse up into the air.

While in the air the second one will then go off and spread your manure...er...your poop,,,er.. your **** all across your farm, fertilizing your farm paddocks.

Your 'outhouse' then comes back down to the same spot atop your now-empty hole."

Pa thanks his neighbour, drives to the Town's hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite..one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.

<You've already worked out where this is old Aussie tale is leading>..

He goes home and puts them under the 'outhouse'...He then lights them both and runs as fast as his  bandy little legs will carry him behind a mango tree.

All of a sudden Ma, comes bursting out of the back of the homestead, and straight into the 'outhouse!'

"BANG"...off goes the first stick of dynamite...shooting the 'outhouse' into the air.

"BOOM"...off goes the second stick of dynamite....spreading their poop <as promised> all over their paddocks.

 "WHAM"..the 'outhouse' comes crashing back to earth and atop the now empty hole...

Pa races to the 'outhouse', throws open the door and sees Ma all 'browned off' covered in their 'Farm Journal' toilet paper squares,

"Ma, are you all right?"..

As she pulls up her considerable Bombay Bloomers, she says.......

"Yeah Pa,..but I'm sure glad I didn't FART in our kitchen!..........

<Aussie humour at its best/worse?......> Hoo Roo