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You Ladies only THINK men don't remember Anniversaries......
(Preview)
MEN DO REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES.. A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him..... She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be deep in thought....jus...
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goldfinger
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0
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1075
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Old Timer's Bar....
(Preview)
Four old retired blokes are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'OLD TIMER'S BAR - ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!' They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is tooo good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Com...
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goldfinger
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1
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1196
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A man goes out to play golf...
(Preview)
..while his wife waits at home. He promises to be back by five.Five'o'clock comes and goes and the husband hasn't come back yet. Gradually, the hours tick by and no sign of the husband. The wife is about to go looking for him when the front door opens and the husband shuffles in.The wife is worried sick.&...
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Yarra
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0
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971
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SCOTTISH JEW AND THE GOLF CLUB
(Preview)
A Scottish-born Jew decided to retire and take up golf, so he applied formembership at a local golf club. About a week later he received a letter that his application hadbeen rejected. He went to the club to inquire as to why. Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club? Scot: Aye, and I am a...
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Yarra
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0
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894
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....and a few more zingers........
(Preview)
A Hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?" The bloke says, "Yes mate I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm currently having another argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out of this room's window." Th...
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goldfinger
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1
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1250
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Irish Wrestler
(Preview)
A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square offfor the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots...
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Yarra
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1
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1232
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100 LBS OF DYNAMITE...
(Preview)
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a Great chest you have!" He tells her, "That's 100lbs of dynamite Baaaaby." He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "Myy, what massive calves you have!" He tells her "That's 100lbs of dynamite B...
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goldfinger
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1
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1074
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Can you describe your wife ?
(Preview)
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height?Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Colour of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I th...
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Yarra
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1
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1140
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The Very Patient Grandpa...
(Preview)
I was walking through the local supermarket the other day when I saw a grandfather walking around with his 2 year old grandson. It was obvious that the grandpa wasn't having an easy time of it, with the siren-like voice of his cherished youngling scaling upwards every time candy or toys came into view...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1264
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Snow in Jamaica
(Preview)
A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him,"What is your name?""I can't tell you" the black man says.Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always respo...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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1036
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Father was obviously a mechanic......
(Preview)
Daughter to Father: "Dad there is something my new boyfriend said to me, that I didn't fully understand." He said that I' have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags, fantastic bumper,....and....do I prefer a manual gear change?'... Father's Response: "Go tell your new boyfriend...
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goldfinger
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1
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1227
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The Observant Kangaroo
(Preview)
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Moorey
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2
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1059
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Husband Prepares Dinner
(Preview)
His wife left a note for him to prepare dinner that evening:Shepherds Pie needs to be taken out of the fridge and placed in the oven at 140 degrees. Dave
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Moorey
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1
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1371
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He said tonight is all about you darling
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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3
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1415
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Troublesome five year old....
(Preview)
Bob was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily. "What's up Bob? asked the bartender.... It's not like you to be so down in the mouth." "It's my five year old son..." Bob replied. "Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting in school?....my lad's just the same- for...
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goldfinger
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0
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1099
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Time for a 'Quickie'.....
(Preview)
During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. "Now let me see the 'bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady immediately starts removing her undies, however is interrupted by her Doctor... &qu...
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goldfinger
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0
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1038
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While at the Bar.......
(Preview)
While at the Bar: Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen here good looking...I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, by the front door by the back door, in the back door, on the gro...
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goldfinger
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0
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1057
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What is Celibacy?
(Preview)
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other". He then addressed the men, Can you name...
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Yarra
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0
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1094
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The light turned yellow, just in front of him.....
(Preview)
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed h...
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aussie_paul
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2
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1400
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The age of didgits
(Preview)
Should I Really Join Facebook? (Priceless)Read it all the way through! It's a good laugh! AND really quite true!! A good laugh for people in the over 70 group !!! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, take...
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Wombat 280
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1
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1216
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