|
Warning.. :)
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
954
|
|
|
|
|
My Satnav
(Preview)
The Satnav A new poem by Pam Ayres I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my carA Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are. I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my lifeIt's better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife. It gives me full instructions, Especially how to drive"...
|
Cupie
|
1
|
935
|
|
|
|
|
...$2.99 'Seniors Special'
(Preview)
The $2.99 Seniors Special: We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'Seniors Special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.. "Sounds good" my wife said, "But I don't want the eggs". "Then I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la car...
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
822
|
|
|
|
|
Blonde joke, blond joke.
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
921
|
|
|
|
|
the honeymoon
(Preview)
On there wedding night the newly weds spent the first night in the honeymoon suite of the motel the husband went down stairs to order breakfast. Egg, bacon, sausages and toast for me , and a lettuce for the wife he told the waiter. Isn't lettuce a rather unusual breakfast choice sir? Yes replied the husb...
|
dishlicker
|
0
|
761
|
|
|
|
|
older years
(Preview)
Two 90 yr old mates Bruce and Phill meet in the street and Bruce says to Phill Whats this i hear about you being committed on a rape charge, you know thats ridiculous. Yeh i know says Phill but i was too bloody proud to plead Not Guilty.
|
dishlicker
|
0
|
756
|
|
|
|
|
The Recession we had to have.
(Preview)
The recession had hit the elderly country couple harder than most and they had fallen on very hard times. Sarah offers to help by going out on the streets.Hubby Phill protests feebly, but Sarah goes out. The next morning he's counting her takings. There's $34.50. Which lousy bugger gave you 50 cents...
|
dishlicker
|
0
|
819
|
|
|
|
|
Gun Shearer
(Preview)
The gun shearer had been invited to the main homestead for the end of season evening meal. The woman of the house a very distinguished matron enquired, would you care to wash your hands before dinner. He replied no thanks mam i already washed them over against the fence.
|
dishlicker
|
0
|
875
|
|
|
|
|
A Rose...
(Preview)
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great, I would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What i...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
831
|
|
|
|
|
A Retired Husband
(Preview)
RETIRED HUSBAND After retiring, George's wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to TESCO. (a British Supermarket Chain) Unfortunately, like most men, George found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women - she loves to browse....
|
Peter1059
|
0
|
842
|
|
|
|
|
LITTLE JOHNNY;;
(Preview)
Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.After a number of times of this happening, the teacher became increasingly worried and asked him about it.Johnny's answer was: "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my fat...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
760
|
|
|
|
|
The nun that swore
(Preview)
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder. "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go...
|
Woody n Sue
|
1
|
1026
|
|
|
|
|
2 Irishmen
(Preview)
Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf. Jimmy said, Im gonna do that when I win the lottery. What's that then? asks Mikey. Send me lawn away to be mowed." Aussie Paul. -- Edited by aussie_paul on Tuesday 6th of October 2015 03:58:22 PM...
|
aussie_paul
|
2
|
936
|
|
|
|
|
That makes sense!!!
(Preview)
|
nimrod
|
0
|
645
|
|
|
|
|
Be aware of wax jobs ..
(Preview)
|
Aus-Kiwi
|
1
|
941
|
|
|
|
|
Hard of hearing
(Preview)
Hard of Hearing "Doctor, I think my wife is getting hard of hearing." "I'll have my nurse make an appointment for her, In the meantime, there's a simple, informal test you can run to give us an idea how bad the problem is. Here's what you do: start out about 40 feet away from her and in a nor...
|
Young Simmo
|
0
|
816
|
|
|
|
|
Don't muck about with us oldies
(Preview)
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32...
|
Young Simmo
|
0
|
742
|
|
|
|
|
May offend....I was offended....
(Preview)
..just back from 3 weeks fishing and vanning Port Victoria and Wallaroo/Yorke Peninsula..showing my granddaughter how to fish and the places I lived in a past life........thought I would submit a few to offend as usual...lol.... 1. A Mother's Love: A little boy says to his mother "Mommy how c...
|
Goldfinger
|
0
|
880
|
|
|
|
|
C.R.A.F.T
(Preview)
|
Woody n Sue
|
0
|
726
|
|
|
|
|
Doctors examination
(Preview)
As the doctor began his examination of an elderly slightly deaf patient he placed his stethoscope on her chest he instructed "big breaths " "yes they us to be" she remorsfully replied
|
Woody n Sue
|
0
|
740
|
|
|
