Just Joking

Possum3 · Possum3

A wife came home early...and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away.' And th...

goldfinger · goldfinger

A father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers it's his eight year old daughter's birthday. He stops at Toys R Us and asks one of the salespersons :"How much for one of those Barbie's in your display window?" The salesperson answers,: "Well, which one do you mean, Sir?"...

grahos · grahos

A Bikie came upon an attempted suicide scene. He pulled over and said to the policeman let me talk to her, He walks up and says it would be really nice if a young girl like you would give me a hug and a kiss before you die. She gave him a long passionate kiss and a hug. He said to her why do you want to die. She said,...

goldfinger · goldfinger

Three beautiful red roses by her hospital pillow....<not really risqué> A young Lady goes to her Doctor and confides she wants an 'operation' because she feels her vagina lips are toooooo large. She respectively asks her Doctor to keep her 'operation' a secret, as she's embarrassed and doe...

Magnarc · Magnarc

The local priest in an effort to promote friendly relations with other denominatons, invited the Rabbi to have a look around the church. During their travels they came upon the confessional and the Rabbi asked what this was for, before the priest could answer the door on the other side closed. The pri...

Magnarc · Magnarc

The Catholic church and the Synagogue were on opposite sides of the road, and a great rivalry developed between the Priest and the Rabbi who were constantly trying to outdo each other. Matters came to a head when the priest bought a Bentley and parked it outside the church. A couple of days later a Rolls...

Yarra · Yarra

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. 'Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.' The old la...

goldfinger · goldfinger

A bloke walks into the front bar and orders 10 shots of neat Bundy Rum. After they're poured, he drops them all down one after the other. The Bartender comments: "Wow matey, I've never seen anyone down that much Rum, neat, that fast before!" The bloke responds mournfully: "Well yo...

hokianga · hokianga

Never text a confessionTHE CONFESSION Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. Im sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I cant live with myself...

rockylizard · rockylizard

An old married couple have just watched a documentary program about what happens to elderly people enduring a long and difficult decline towards death. Well, that makes you think, doesnt it dear? he says. Well what are you thinking? she asks. He sighs. Promise me that if ever I am dependent upon a m...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... Cheers - John

goldfinger · goldfinger

Faithful Ol' Bluey.......a man's best mate.... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithful old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side.... ....water has given out that morning and no food...... He looks into the eyes of faithful ol' Bluey......

goldfinger · goldfinger

A woman had been a prostitute for some 4 years and was worried about the 'size' of her vagina on her wedding night.... She decided to tell her newly wed husband that she had caught 'it' on barbed wire whilst climbing over a farmer's fence. After their first consummating tryst, the subject was broached....

Baz421 · Baz421

An Australian Salesman in Harrods. THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the jo...

Baz421 · Baz421

Baz421 · Baz421

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction...

Baz421 · Baz421

CUSTOMER SERVICE AT ITS FINEST.... This has got to be one of funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have received a promotion, not have gotten fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care departme...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

I played golf today got a hole in one ! There expecting ting showers in broom

Magnarc · Magnarc

Apologies if this has been posted before. Pat and Mick are walking down the village street when they meet the Father coming towards them. "Hello Father" says Mick, "Hello Father says Pat. "Hello there boys what are ye up to today?" says the Priest. "Nuttin Father&...

dorian · dorian

http://www.engrish.com/wp-content/uploads//2016/01/pee-soon.jpg

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Plausible? (Preview) A wife came home early...and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away.' And th...	Possum3	2	1342	08:47 PM Feb 11, 2016 by goldfinger
	Divorced Barbie Doll.... (Preview) A father, on his way home from work suddenly remembers it's his eight year old daughter's birthday. He stops at Toys R Us and asks one of the salespersons :"How much for one of those Barbie's in your display window?" The salesperson answers,: "Well, which one do you mean, Sir?"...	goldfinger	0	1377	11:16 AM Feb 11, 2016 by goldfinger
	How did it happen (Preview) A Bikie came upon an attempted suicide scene. He pulled over and said to the policeman let me talk to her, He walks up and says it would be really nice if a young girl like you would give me a hug and a kiss before you die. She gave him a long passionate kiss and a hug. He said to her why do you want to die. She said,...	grahos	0	1180	08:57 PM Feb 10, 2016 by grahos
	A challenge eh? Magnarc....my best three, told some time ago..... (Preview) Three beautiful red roses by her hospital pillow....<not really risqué> A young Lady goes to her Doctor and confides she wants an 'operation' because she feels her vagina lips are toooooo large. She respectively asks her Doctor to keep her 'operation' a secret, as she's embarrassed and doe...	goldfinger	3	908	07:17 PM Feb 9, 2016 by goldfinger
	The Confessional. (Preview) The local priest in an effort to promote friendly relations with other denominatons, invited the Rabbi to have a look around the church. During their travels they came upon the confessional and the Rabbi asked what this was for, before the priest could answer the door on the other side closed. The pri...	Magnarc	0	972	04:05 PM Feb 9, 2016 by Magnarc
	A really subtle story. (Preview) The Catholic church and the Synagogue were on opposite sides of the road, and a great rivalry developed between the Priest and the Rabbi who were constantly trying to outdo each other. Matters came to a head when the priest bought a Bentley and parked it outside the church. A couple of days later a Rolls...	Magnarc	0	907	03:41 PM Feb 9, 2016 by Magnarc
	Old Lady In Hell (Preview) An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. 'Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.' The old la...	Yarra	0	930	03:40 PM Feb 9, 2016 by Yarra
	The Quick and the Dead....... (Preview) A bloke walks into the front bar and orders 10 shots of neat Bundy Rum. After they're poured, he drops them all down one after the other. The Bartender comments: "Wow matey, I've never seen anyone down that much Rum, neat, that fast before!" The bloke responds mournfully: "Well yo...	goldfinger	0	849	03:25 PM Feb 9, 2016 by goldfinger
	Technology (Preview) Never text a confessionTHE CONFESSION Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. Im sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I cant live with myself...	hokianga	0	834	02:38 PM Feb 9, 2016 by hokianga
	She was just helping..... (Preview) An old married couple have just watched a documentary program about what happens to elderly people enduring a long and difficult decline towards death. Well, that makes you think, doesnt it dear? he says. Well what are you thinking? she asks. He sighs. Promise me that if ever I am dependent upon a m...	rockylizard	0	958	10:52 AM Feb 9, 2016 by rockylizard
	Cuppla smiles..... (Preview) Gday... Cheers - John	rockylizard	1	894	10:08 AM Feb 9, 2016 by dorian
	Another from the old prospector..round the camp fire...I suspect it's true... (Preview) Faithful Ol' Bluey.......a man's best mate.... In the arid interior of Australia an old Gold Prospector is staggering along with his faithful old Blue Heeler "Bluey" by his side.... ....water has given out that morning and no food...... He looks into the eyes of faithful ol' Bluey......	goldfinger	0	753	08:01 AM Feb 9, 2016 by goldfinger
	An old prospector told me this one ..round the camp fire.. (Preview) A woman had been a prostitute for some 4 years and was worried about the 'size' of her vagina on her wedding night.... She decided to tell her newly wed husband that she had caught 'it' on barbed wire whilst climbing over a farmer's fence. After their first consummating tryst, the subject was broached....	goldfinger	0	943	10:20 PM Feb 8, 2016 by goldfinger
	FOR GOLDY - HOPE U GET A LAUGH - AN AUSSIE IN HARRODS (Preview) An Australian Salesman in Harrods. THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the jo...	Baz421	1	854	09:55 PM Feb 8, 2016 by goldfinger
	HORMONE GUIDE (Preview)	Baz421	0	881	09:04 PM Feb 8, 2016 by Baz421
	POODLE AND THE LEOPARD CIRCA 2006 (Preview) A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction...	Baz421	0	793	09:00 PM Feb 8, 2016 by Baz421
	COMPUTER HELP FROM 2003 (Preview) CUSTOMER SERVICE AT ITS FINEST.... This has got to be one of funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have received a promotion, not have gotten fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care departme...	Baz421	0	987	08:55 PM Feb 8, 2016 by Baz421
	A few Dad jokes (Preview) I played golf today got a hole in one ! There expecting ting showers in broom	Woody n Sue	0	594	05:24 PM Feb 8, 2016 by Woody n Sue
	A challenge to Goldfingers best Irish joke (Preview) Apologies if this has been posted before. Pat and Mick are walking down the village street when they meet the Father coming towards them. "Hello Father" says Mick, "Hello Father says Pat. "Hello there boys what are ye up to today?" says the Priest. "Nuttin Father&...	Magnarc	1	621	03:58 PM Feb 8, 2016 by grahos
	Why I don't drink at the club (Preview) http://www.engrish.com/wp-content/uploads//2016/01/pee-soon.jpg	dorian	0	827	06:37 AM Feb 8, 2016 by dorian
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