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A Ripper Irish Joke....always worth repeating round the fire...
(Preview)
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and declared, "And here's to spending the rest of me Life between the legs of me Wife"....! That won him the top prize at the local pub for the best toast of the night. He went home and proudly told his wife, Mary, "Mary me love, oi won the prize for the Best Toast of th...
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Goldfinger
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1
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1040
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Talking Dog
(Preview)
A man sees a sign outside a house: 'Talking Dog For Sale'....He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden. The man sees a very nice looking Black Labrador Retriever sitting there. "Do you really talk?" He asks the dog. "Yes!" The Labrador replies.... After r...
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Possum3
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1
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1012
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Ring
(Preview)
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp."What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender."Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little O'Con...
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Yarra
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1
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880
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The Irish Sinner
(Preview)
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?"Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I mi...
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Yarra
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0
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857
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what buggers a chook
(Preview)
What's three foot long and buggers a chook??? an axe
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Craig1
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2
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1185
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Elderly Couple
(Preview)
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that theyre physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. Want anything w...
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Yarra
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0
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976
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Ahh the Irish
(Preview)
A Irishman wants a job, but the boss won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here is your first question, the boss said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the man says, "Dats easy." And proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Tree and t...
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Woody n Sue
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2
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1062
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"And That's When The Fight Started"
(Preview)
"And That's When The Fight Started" Collection..... My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' ... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes...
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Possum3
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2
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1167
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"Expecting Snow.....Move The Car!".....
(Preview)
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."... Bob's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eat...
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Possum3
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1
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978
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The Queen and Dolly
(Preview)
Stolen from another site but funny.Queen Elizabeth And Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before St Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St Peter must decide which of them gets in.St Peter asks Dolly if there's some par...
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hokianga
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1
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888
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Broadband.
(Preview)
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found Traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that Their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American...
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Possum3
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0
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1020
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Organic vegetables.
(Preview)
Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy Organic Vegetables from the produce market." said the first man. "So were you able to find some?" the second man, asked.... "Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any Poison...
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Possum3
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0
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1070
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Put A Smile On Your Dial
(Preview)
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Yarra
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1
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1572
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Slightly naughty
(Preview)
The following should be sung to a popular Dean Martin song. "When you swim round a rock and and an eel bites your c--k, thats a Moray.
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Magnarc
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0
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1128
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case dismissed
(Preview)
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he...
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Pete49
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0
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976
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An engineer dies and is sent to hell
(Preview)
He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it.Things cool down quickly.The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from place to place more easily.The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the Satelli...
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Yarra
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0
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914
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Woman golfers
(Preview)
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning...The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a pair of men playing the next hole.Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the gro...
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Yarra
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1
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1050
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Save $1000
(Preview)
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcom...
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Yarra
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1
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1145
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New Christmas tree this year
(Preview)
Just bought my Christmas Tree from the market and the man said if I kept it healthy by giving it plenty of light and water he would even come and take it away for me come February! What a great deal and nice young man he was!! K.J.
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kiwijims
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2
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1077
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Two irishman
(Preview)
Two irishman decided they would go cut their own Christmas tree...they walked for miles...up and down hills...looking for the perfect tree...finally one turned to the other and said...."We're cutting the next tree we find....whether it has lights or not"..
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Yendorane
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0
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1047
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